It's not a Race, It's a Journey...

This post started off as a somewhat whiny post about how I feel like a sack of hammers, I'm super stressed out and that I don't feel like running another 26.2 miles in a couple of weeks, blah blah blah.  And then I came home to this, my excitement returned and I changed my tune.

The photograph of all those people brought back fond memories of my last Boston experience.  Given that NYC is double the size, I can only imagine what the crowds will be like.  I'm sure the energy will be palpable.  I hope so because I think I'm going to need all the help I can get to make it through 26.2 miles.

I'm not going to lie though, I am tired.  And I am kind of (only kind of, not completely!!) dreading the fact that I'm going to be running marathon number 2 this year.  I don't know if I feel mentally ready to tackle another one.  That is what's been running through my head this past week.  As of this very minute, I can honestly say that I really don't feel like running another one.  I really don't.  I feel mentally spent.  That could be a combination of the fact that I've been super stressed at work and that fact that normally my fall A race happens sometime in mid-October.  After mid-October, I can usually check out in terms of my mental focus.  Not this year.  Nope.  I decided that doing NYC in November would be fun and a great opportunity.  I mean when would I get the chance for another guaranteed entry?  Probably never again since they lowered the qualifying standards for my AG this year to a blazing 1:30:00 or faster.   Insanity.  So I jumped at the chance and figured I could handle two marathons in one year. 

Ok so maybe this post is still a bit whiny.   Ah well.  Guess I need to get it off my chest.  Call it online processing.  Heh.

I think that two marathons in one year is too much for this bod.  I'm feeling a little beat up.  My achilles isn't 100%.  I managed to tweak it on a long run a few weeks ago when I ducked into the bushes for a pee break.  Who hurts their achilles going to the bathroom???  Apparently I do.  Maybe I'm worrying too much.  I had physio yesterday and she said my mobility is a lot better.  It feels a lot better too.  I'll see her a couple more times before I go and I've got a massage scheduled tonight so maybe I'll feel better about everything after a little TLC and a good nights sleep.  

Those nagging little "performance oriented" thoughts have started creeping in though and I need to shut them off.  I had to give a finishing time estimate way back when and I had said 3:30.  The competitor in me feels compelled to try and make that time.  But really what does it matter?  I have to keep reminding myself that I decided to do this race for the experience of it.   It's all about the journey.  That's what I'm going for.  No pressure.  I'm going to take a 26.2 mile tour of all five Boroughs with 45,000 other people.  Yeah, that's it.  That's the key.  To quote one of my favourite Rush songs (Out of the Cradle) "It's not a race, it's a journey".  

I think that's going to be my new mantra for the next 12 days.