Starting Over: My Relationship with Running

Oh hey, it's slacker blogger Coach PK coming at ya.  I'm epically failing at this regular blogging thing these days.

First off, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for all your support, comments & notes in regards to last weeks post.  I am very excited for the changes ahead.   I'm not going to lie, I'm scared as well.  I am a creature of habit that is used to routine so this will be a big adjustment for me.  I'm going to have to create a new routine to make sure I don't end up sitting on the couch surfing the internet all day (which is entirely possible, ha ha)  I am much more productive when I have a timeline / deadline, which is surely a by product of my career as a producer.  The best part is I can determine how busy I want to be vs. now where I don't have a choice.  That is one of the many things I'm looking forward to.

Anyway.  I have a confession to make.

This summer, I fell out of love with running.

There.  I said it.

I have been struggling with this for a while.  Ever since just after my injury actually (surprise surprise!).  I think I messed myself up so much that I've got a lot to undo.  I also think I have become fairly de-conditioned.  Cardio wise I'm good but muscularly, my body just doesn't know what to do with itself when I run.  I feel like a baby deer that isn't quite sure of what to do with it's limbs.   Over the last few visits to the Urban Athlete, Laura has video taped me running and she's pinpointed where she thinks all my issues have stemmed from.  My hips are actually pretty good - there doesn't seem to be much hip drop any more, which is great, however, my upper body rotates like crazy.  Most people swing their arms when they run but I seem to swing my arms and torso so I'm actually twisting when I run.  So I have been sent to the gym to work on strengthening my back and lats as well to learn how NOT to move my upper body too much when my legs move.  I can walk and swing my arms no problem but the minute things speed up (i.e my leg turnover increases) I start to twist.  My body has somehow learned this bad habit.   I think it's from sitting all day.  Much like my gluts, I think my back muscles don't work as efficiently as they should.

Running through Waterfront Park in Clermont

Unlearning this behaviour means that I am spending a lot of time with pulleys and bands in front of mirrors moving my arms and legs back and forth while focussing on keeping my torso fairly still.  HO-LY EFF it's HARD.

I've been doing this regularly for a few weeks now and I have noticed a slight difference.   For a while, pretty much every run I did, no matter how short, felt awful.  Everything hurt or ached or just didn't feel good.  I completely understand why new runners don't always stick with running because if you're not used to doing it on a regular basis, it does hurt.  As with anything, consistency is key.  We are creatures of habit and our bodies are always learning and adapting.   The more you do something, the sooner your body will learn that movement pattern.  That's the magic of muscle memory.

Despite my solid aerobic base, my muscles had forgotten what it was like to run.  Which is probably a good thing because I had built up a lot of bad habits that I have been working on un-doing.  I think I've gotten most of them out of my system, except for my torso twist, which I think will be the most difficult to undo.

A few weeks ago I was feeling really discouraged about everything but I've started to see some progress in the last week.  I've had two good almost pain free runs in the span of a week and my cadence is slowly getting back up to where it was pre-injury.  Post injury I couldn't get my legs to turn over at more than 173 steps per minute.  Last night's run was an average of 177 steps per minute which is pretty much where I was at pre-injury.  WAHOOO.

While I'm not at square one in terms of my running, I am starting over in a certain sense.  I'm paying more attention to what my body is doing when it's moving vs. my heart rate or pace or any of that and that is my focus with each run.   My plan is to get out and run at least 3-5x a week in the coming weeks.   Nothing more than 5-6km at the most for the first couple of weeks.  My goal by the end of November is to be able to run 10km.  Sounds so crazy coming from someone that just spent two weeks in Florida riding her bike almost every day.   But like I said earlier, my muscles had forgotten what it was like to run.   I'm sure my engine could get through the 10km but I don't know that the chassis could handle it just yet.  So 5km will be my max for now.  Distance doesn't matter to me, as long as I can run.   This last week has definitely put a smile back on my face......

Last night's run got a thumbs up.  It would have been two but I had to hold my phone to take the picture, ha.

Here's hoping that things are trending in the right direction because this old broad is starting to get the itch to race again.

#OperationTop5 Week 4: Not as Planned

A training cycle wouldn't be a training cycle if you didn't have at least one week where things didn't go as planned.  This was that week for me.  It started off really well and then just went to hell in a hand basket.  But that's life, right?  Not everything goes to plan and sometimes you just have to wing it.  Or do what you can.  I still had some pretty good workouts so I'm happy about that.   I also had my biggest month EVER in the pool.  This month I racked up 36,850m of swimming in 13 swims.  That's 36.8km in the water.   C-R-A-Z-Y.

This was supposed to be a recovery week and I took that to heart.  I had a few crappy nights of sleep (hello hormones!) plus one late night and that's when things started to go downhill.  Tuesday night I hardly slept, Wednesday night I was out late and once again, I hardly slept.   That's usually a sign that Aunt Flo is on her way.  Thursday I was zonked.  I was tired and incredibly sore from the crazy Electric Yoga class I had taken the night before at the Smart Girl's Sweat Sweatworking Event.  That class reinforced my complete lack of co-ordination, ha ha.  But it was still kinda fun.  Anyway, I was so tired and I felt so crappy that I left work early on Thursday, went home, ran a hot bath and almost fell asleep in the tub.  I was supposed to do a 75 minute bike ride but I had zero desire to get on my bike.  I got out of the tub, had a nap on the couch, then had some soup for dinner, watched a bit of TV with G and was in bed asleep by 9:00 pm.  I finally had a good night sleep and felt human when I got up on Friday morning.

Friday night we hit up 850 Degrees, our favourite pizza place and then went by our friends place for a  drink to celebrate his new job.  It was 11 pm by the time I went to bed.  I actually set my alarm for 7 am because I figured if I didn't I'd sleep in late and then have to rush around to meet my trainer for 9 am.  The rest of the weekend was packed with training, working on my athlete's training plans, meal prep and some well deserved relaxation.

Once again, I'm linking up with Holly and Tricia for their Weekly Wrap.  It's a chance to share your week whether it be in workouts or in life.

This is how week 4 of my Operation Top 5 Training went...

Monday:  4.23km run.  3x4 minutes with NO PAIN!  Wahoo!

Tuesday:  OFF

Wednesday:  a.m:  2800m swim.  It was quiet at work so I got in a 5.58km run (4x4 minutes!) mid
afternoon.  p.m. 45 minute Electric Yoga class

Thursday:  45 minutes of strength work.  W.I.P.E.D out.

Friday:  2200m swim

Saturday: 60 minutes of strength work, 2 hours on the bike then a 6.39km run (5x4 minutes)

Made with Super Photo! 

Sunday:  6.9km run up to the pool (6x4 minutes, pain free!) 3250m swim.

Total time:  9h 53 minutes

I was pretty wiped out by the time I got home from the pool.  Not to mention HUNGRY.  Holy smokes.  I'm still trying to get used to fuelling for this increase in training volume.  I've caught myself feeling hungrier sooner so I think I need to increase my protein intake a bit as well as the actual amount of food I'm eating.  It's a fine balance, that's for sure.  I'm patiently waiting for the weight I've put on over the last couple of months to go away.  It has yet to happen.  Oh the joys of getting older.  Boo.

Tomorrow my run plan takes me to 1x 9 minutes of running!  Folks, I'm ALMOST DONE.  I'm starting my last week of this plan.  It will probably take me a week and a half to get through it since I've decreased my runs from 5 a week to 4 a week due to the increase in time for the intervals.  Things are going really well.  I'm staying on top of my niggles - all this glute work I'm doing has definitely made them tighter so I went to see Peter, my chiro on Friday to get some ART work done.  My plan is to see him once a month for a tune up.  I usually only get a massage once a month but I figured the way things are going, I should probably do ART as well.  So that's the plan.

How was your week?  Do you go for regular massage or ART?  

The First DNS of 2016

I really hope it's the ONLY DNS of 2016 as well!

I was supposed to run the Robbie Burns 8km this weekend but after speaking with Lauren on Tuesday, that has been taken off the table.  Am I disappointed?  Not really.  If I wasn't rehabbing an injury then I would have used this as test of my current run fitness.  But, I haven't covered more than 6.6km in my last 5 weeks of rehab.  Could I run it?  Of course but I'm sure it would be ugly.  Would it be smart?  Heck no.  Lauren said that the stress it could potentially put on my body isn't worth it right now.  And I agree.  So I will keep plugging away at my plan and my rehab exercises.   Last night I ran 7x3 minutes so things are moving along. 

In terms of progressing my rehab, I have now been tasked with practicing jumping off a step and landing softly and not letting my knees collapse when I land.  Not letting my knees collapse is difficult but not as difficult as landing softly.  I'm not very big but when I walk I sound like I'm 6ft, 200lbs.  Some people would say I walk with "purpose".  G says I don't walk as much as stomp (not having much carpet in the house really emphasizes this, haha).  I don't think I've ever been terribly light on my feet so I'm not surprised that my knees have suffered.  I'm really enjoying this challenge because it really forces me to be aware of my feet as well as how the rest of my body moves.  It also gets me off my butt at work.  If it's not busy,  I'll go into the garage, get an apple box, take my shoes off and practice my landings.  My co-workers expect this sort of crazy stuff from me so no one is surprised, ha ha. 

In case you're wondering what an apple box is....here you go.  We use them in the studio to prop things up. 

I've got a fairly quiet weekend on tap.  Of course there is the usual long ride & Masters swim and I'll be meeting with my trainer again.  This time I'll see him BEFORE my two hour ride.  Last week I ran, rode and THEN went to see him.  I was exhausted half way through my workout with him which is kind of a waste.  So he recommended that I see him first thing on Saturday and then do my ride.  So that's the plan.  We'll see how my legs like it, ha ha.  I'm hoping the ride helps alleviate some of the post workout soreness. 

It feels really nice to be back into a workout groove.  And I like seeing the green workout box in Training Peaks (that means my workout was completed, haha).  I'm a very goal oriented person so I look at each of those green boxes as a building block or stepping stone to my goal.  Speaking of goals, I LOVE the new feature on Strava that allows you to set weekly and yearly goals.  They've FINALLY added swimming in as a weekly / yearly thing you can set goals in.  I went out on a limb and set distance goals for each discipline for the year.  I will probably re-evaluate them mid season depending on how things go.  Right now these are my goals for the year:

Swim:  300,000 m.  Right now I'm 6,000m ahead of target but I know come the summer time my swim time will drop because we lose our Sunday Masters swim.  We usually try to make that up with an open water swim on Saturdays but I never swim that far in open water.  Maybe that will change this year.  Masters Canada has a Million Meter challenge and right now I'm at 953,000m so I've got less than 50,000m left before I get my Million Meter pin and swim cap.  With the amount of time I've been spending in the pool, I should have that by March!  Woohoo! 

Bike:  6500km.  Last year I rode 4700km so this is a big jump.  I figured we're going to a training camp for a week so we'll get a lot of riding in then and I know G and I will do some longer distance late season rides.  Plus, I'm sure Paolina will pile on the miles once I start riding outside.  Right now I'm 120km behind target but I'm not too concerned about that just yet.

Run:  1250m.  Last year I logged just under 1000km (980 to be exact) which is the lowest mileage I've logged in a very long time.  Now that my running is on the up and up, I think that this is doable.  I'm currently right on target and I haven't even been cleared to start building my mileage yet! 

So, those are the mileage plans for 2016.  We'll see how all that actually pans out at the end of the year.  

Do you set mileage goals for the year?  What have you got planned for the weekend? 

Operation Top 5 Week One: Getting Back To Business

This past week was a good week.  I met with Lauren again, she's given me some new exercises to do, my running is moving along nicely and I put some solid time in on the bike and in the pool.  I also hired a personal trainer for the first time in my life and I met with him on Sunday.   Yup, I'm not messing around this year.  I mean business.  I am so excited by all the potential this year.  It's been a while since I've been this excited.  It feels really nice.

It was kind of nice to get back to work, which essentially means that I have some routine / structure back in my life.  YAY!   I had Monday off, so it was only a four day work week for me which was awesome.  I took advantage of that day off and went over to Xtreme Couture, which is a gym very close to my house, and took a tour and then joined.  It's exactly the kind of place I like.  It's essentially an MMA gym that offers some classes + has a serious weight section.  It will be MUCH better for me than Planet Fitness.  Wednesday night I went into the gym and had my "weight in" and measurements.  As I suspected, I'm carrying a few extra lbs and I've gotten quite soft through my hips and thighs.  But that's ok.  I know that will change, especially now that I'm working with a personal trainer.

This weekend wasn't too action packed which was perfect.  I got a run in after work on Friday,  Saturday morning I had a solid bike workout and then went to WattsUp for their open house.   It was nice to see some familiar faces.   My afternoon was relatively quiet.  I did my physio exercises, worked on my athlete's training plans and did a bit of meal prep.  Sunday was way busier.  I had a swim and a run, a meeting with my friend Jenn for something REALLY exciting that I will share soon.  Then it was off to see my trainer Chris who took me through my paces.   After that I did a bit more meal prep, along with dinner and then had a hot epsom salts bath.

All in all it was a good weekend.

This is how my first week of Operation Top 5 rolled out:

Monday:  3km run - graduated to 2 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking!  It was *just* 20 minutes but I didn't care.

Tuesday:  OFF

Wednesday:  awesome 3000m swim in a.m.  3.3km run in pm

Thursday:  3.7km run in a.m.  It was a beautiful morning.  1h 5 min ride with cadence work in p.m.

Perfect way to start my day!

Friday:  2450m swim, 4.5km run in p.m.

Saturday:  1h 50 minute trainer ride with cadence work then 2x15 minutes in the high end of zone 3. Holy smokes was I ever SOAKED by the time I got off the bike.   You know it's hard when your Garmin tells you it's going to take 44 hours to recover, ha ha.

Sunday:  3350m swim + 5.2km run + 1 hour of strength work.  So much glute work my butt is killing me.   BUT, that's exactly what I need, ha ha.

Total time:  9h 20 minutes.  I managed 20km of running this week and 8800m of swimming!  I had two swims this week that were 3km or over.  It's been a while since I've logged that much mileage in the water.   I have to say, I'm actually really enjoying it.  New year, new attitude, ha ha.

Have you ever worked with a personal trainer?  How was your weekend?

Trust the Process: What I'm Working On

I will be the first to admit that I suck at being patient.  I want things to happen and I want them to happen now.  That's my inner 5 year old talking.  That being said, I'm not afraid of hard work and I understand what it takes to achieve a goal.  I actually enjoy that process.  Rehabbing a chronic injury  however, is not enjoyable work.  It blows.

BUT.  There is a game plan and it seems to be working.  After Scotia I told myself I'd take the time off running, which I did.  Almost 3 weeks in fact.  And when I went back to it,  I ran at a comfortable, easy pace and not for very long.  My longest run before this last break was 8.5km.   In those 3 weeks off, I started to address certain things that I felt were contributing to my knee issues. I also enlisted the help of an amazing physiotherapist and friend of mine, Lauren Dyck

1.  Foot mobility.  I've been wearing orthotics for almost as long as I've been running, which is a really long time.  I think my feet have become stupid.  They don't know how to work properly any more.  I proved this point when I took my orthotics out for a very short run / walk and had one of the best runs I've had in AGES.  I've also noticed that sometimes I curl my toes when I'm running and I'm not really sure why I do that.  I've switched to the Altra Torins and the room in the toe box has made a huge difference to my feet and what they're doing.  Taking my orthotics out of them was like finding the missing piece of the puzzle.  I now feel the ground when I run and I feel much more stable  and confident when I'm running.

The mobility in my left foot, especially my big toe joint is somewhat limited so I've been working on making my toes more flexible and functional.  I've been using Joy-a-toes which are nothing short of amazing.  I've also started doing toe yoga (I kid you not) and working on strengthening my feet by grabbing a towel with my toes and pulling it towards me.  I don't do that as often as I should.  But at least I'm doing it which is something.  My physio exercises also have me working on strengthening my arch.   Lauren has also recommended running barefoot on the treadmill for 1-2 minutes a couple of times a week.  So you know I'll be THAT person at the gym, ha ha.

2.  Ankle Mobility.  Stiff and inflexible ankles will definitely manifest further up your kinetic chain, usually in your knees.  I had ankle mobility and achilles issues 3 years ago, which I worked on fixing and then never bothered to keep up.  I've been asked multiple times if I've sprained my right ankle.  I don't think that I have but I did play soccer for 4 years fairly competitively and I know I've rolled it more than once.  My right ankle is the problem one and all the pain I'm feeling is in my right knee.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Lauren has me doing calf raises and this wonderful little gem to increase my range of motion - except I'm kneeling when I'm doing it. 

3) Core & Glutes:  I'm keeping up my core and glute work as well.  Glute bridges are part of my regular routine as are side planks and cable push outs.  I am heading back to the gym to start lifting heavy again to get some strength back in these legs of mine.

The big thing is getting my VMO to kick in.  It seems to have gotten a bit lazy over the years.  I'm doing band work which is been fantastic for not only my VMO but my gluteus medius as well.  Which is exactly the muscle that you want to be strong when you're a runner!

So, am I running?  Kind of.  Lauren has me on a run walk program.  When I started I was running for one minute and walking for one minute.  I built up to 15 reps of that.  Now, I've graduated to 2 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking.   Today I did that 5 times.  It felt amazing.  The knee pain I was experiencing is gone.  I'm not completely pain free however.  There are some different niggles that have arisen, probably because I've taken my orthotics out of the equation.  It seems to sort itself out once I get moving.  I'm hoping it's just my body getting used to using different muscles.

This is the best I've felt in regards to my running in over a year.  I feel like I'm really on the right track.   Lauren knows her stuff.  Speaking of which, I'm putting a little plug out there for her because I think she's awesome.  She's leading a clinic called the Resilient Runner at Synergy Sports Medicine on Sunday February 7th.  It's a 3 hours and it will cover the basic mechanics of running and how to choose the proper shoe for you.  The clinic will cover:

• Basic mechanics of running and how to choose the "right style" and shoe for you
• Common injuries of the hip, knee and foot, and more importantly how to prevent them
• Simple exercises to improve muscle imbalances associated with running

It's only $45 and you can sign up here - if you want to learn how to stay injury free, this is definitely a good place to start!

I'm feeling much more hopeful than I have been in ages.  I finally feel like I'm heading in the right direction.  I'm trusting the process and learning to be patient because I know it will pay off in the long run.   2016 is going to be a good year.   I can feel it!

Starting From Scratch

2 more days of work for me!  Today and tomorrow and then that's it until 2016!  WOOHOOO!  Truthfully my brain has been in vacation mode since Friday, ha ha.   I'm sure these next two days are probably going to drag as well.

Tomorrow is G's birthday and we're headed to Canoe for dinner.  Can't wait for that.  We started his birthday celebrations this weekend.  We went out to dinner at our local favourite restaurant with a few of our close friends.  It was a blast.  I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.  Good food, great company and lots of wine = a super fun evening.  Friday night we stayed in and watched the latest Mission Impossible movie (Rogue Nation).  That was amazing.

Starting the birthday celebrations early!

Saturday was a pretty busy day.  I got a ride in and then went and got my road bike fit by Scott Judges at Fitt 1st.  Holy smokes what a difference.  My saddle was too low and my seat was too far forward so I was creating a fair bit of strain on my knees (SURPRISE!).  My cleats were also not quite in the right position.  Scott also added shims to my cleats.  That is something that I had done with my very first fit and I'm not sure why I never kept them.  Given the amount of riding I did on my road bike this year, I'm not surprised that my knees are messed up.  It kind of makes sense because I raced all summer on my tri bike and my knees were totally fine.  I piled on the mileage on my road bike in the latter half of the season.  Riding outside was a lot more forgiving than riding on the trainer and I think I paid the price for it once I started riding inside.  There were a few other fairly dramatic changes, namely in my handlebars and the stem.  I need a much shorter stem and new, smaller handlebars.  I can manage without the shorter handlebars for a bit but I definitely need the shorter stem.

I'm going to get him to take a look at my tri bike at some point in the new year.  For now I'm going to stay on my road bike to work on developing my leg muscles a bit more evenly.  On my tri bike I'm in a quad dominant position.  On my road bike I'm using both my hamstrings and my quads.  Given my knee situation, I think this is a better choice for me right now.

I went and saw my friend Lauren (the physiotherapist I mentioned) and she's getting me to start from scratch with my running.  I basically have to walk 5 minutes, then run 1 minute, walk 1 minute then walk 5 minutes.  I need to do this every day, gradually increasing the number of times I run and walk.  I was supposed to start at 3 intervals yesterday but did 5 because I forgot to turn around after the second one.  My knee hurt on the first one but I think it was because I was so tense when I started running.  I was anticipating the pain.   Lauren told me that if I felt pain, I had to stop but I'm a bit stubborn so I thought I'd give it another go and try to run relaxed.  The second one was fine.  So I did the rest of the workout.  My knees were a bit tender after but that was it.  I got on the bike later in the day and a did a 45 minute recovery ride.  No knee pain what so ever.   My knees felt tight but nothing hurt.  This is HUGE. 

I've got a little routine that I have to do every day to help improve my ankle mobility and work on strengthening my calves and my quads, specifically my VMO.  You can't target that muscle on it's own so I'm working my entire quad with a very slight movement.  It's tedious but I know it's going to help me.  And it's simple enough I can do it in the gym if I bring my band with me.   Here's to a speedy recovery.

Once again I had every intention of going to yoga on Monday but that got derailed by work.  So much for putting my one month unlimited pass to good use, ha ha.  I should be able to make up for that once I'm on holidays!  Anyway, I got a few workouts in this week but again, it was a relatively low volume week.  My work party was right smack in the middle of the week so I didn't do anything Wednesday night OR Thursday morning, ha ha. 

So Festive!

 This is what went down last week.

Monday: 1900m swim
Tuesday:  60 minute strength session
Wednesday:  2650m swim
Thursday:  60 minute ride in p.m. including a 5 minute time trial.  Average watts for that 5 minutes: 240.  BOOYA! 

Friday:  OFF
Saturday:  60 minute ride
Sunday:  2.47km run + 45 minute recovery ride

Total time:  5h 36 minutes.

I suspect this week will probably look much like last week with the exception of a few more running km's and a lost less swimming, ha.  As much as I wish I was able to get out and run for hours in this amazing weather, I'm kinda glad I'm sidelined.  It's really forcing me to take things easy.  And I'm not stressing about finding the time to get things ready for Christmas because I have LOTS of time, ha.

Are you ready for Christmas?  Do you have any time off during the holidays?

Changing My Gait - A Visual Progression

 I've been talking about changing my gait and the work that I've been doing at the Runner's Academy for the last little bit but I've never actually gotten down to the nitty gritty.  Firstly, what IS the Runner's Academy?

This is their mission statement and vision:  The Runner’s Academy is a health and wellness studio offering Chiropractic, Massage Therapy, Personal Training and Run Technique Coaching. The Runner’s Academy is targeting the running community of all skill levels and ages, by bringing education, treatment and performance training to this specific clientele. We will teach you how to Move better and Run faster!

They offer gait analysis, massage therapy, personal training, acupuncture, Chriopractic therapy AND they even have an Alter G treadmill!  It's a Runner's Nirvana.  I have the lovely Sasha Gollish to thank for recommending this place to me.  Specifically one of the founders, Dr. Kris Sheppard.   Herein referred to as the Running Wizard.

I had been getting frustrated with my lack of progress in terms of my knees.  I had gotten my glutes and hamstrings firing but I was still having problems.  I was working on adjusting my gait but I couldn't seem to put it all together.  Enter the Running Wizard.

My first visit was an evaluation.  I was ill prepared for it as it was a last minute appointment.  I at least had some shorts but I was wearing a sweater and borrowed running shoes (Sketchers Go Runs, which were AWESOME btw).   I got up on the treadmill and started running.   Kris took some video.  Here's a screen grab of that first run.

screen grab from Runner's Academy Ubersense Video

It doesn't look *that* bad, right?

He gave me some things to work on - specifically high knee drills, really focusing on picking my legs up and upping my cadence.  The goal was to create more of an oval shape with the movement of my legs vs. a tear drop shape and I had to stop over striding.  That was putting more load on my knees than was necessary.  The goal was to have my foot land as close to under my body as possible.

I came prepared for my next appointment.  He immediately had me get up on the treadmill and start running.  This is what I looked like.  Worse than the week before.  Maybe I should have put the Sketchers back on, ha ha.  Kris had me to a bunch of drills involving jumping over hurdles and running with high knees and then he put me back on the treadmill.

screen grab from Runner's Academy Ubersense Video

This is what I looked like after.

screen grab from Runner's Academy Ubersense Video

My foot is landing a bit more under my body, and my leg isn't trailing out the back in the swing phase of my gait.  It's moving in a tighter circle as you can see by the lack of space between my legs.  I'm getting good push off with my leg and my knees are driving forward.   The first few times I started running like this I felt like I was hopping.  It was very bouncy.  But as I've progressed, I feel like there is less bounce and more forward motion.  It still feels a bit odd to me but it's only been a few weeks.  I know I'm definitely using my glutes and hamstrings because they have become perpetually tight.  I can also feel the power I get from them when I'm pushing off.  It feels so much different than the way I used to run. 

You can really see the difference in the videos so I'm going to see if I can get them from Kris.  

My knees no longer hurt when I run so that is a plus.  However, there are all sorts of other small muscles that I guess I wasn't really using before that I certainly feel now.   I usually gauge my effort by heart rate but when you change your gait, especially your cadence, any sort of heart rate based training goes out the window.  You're moving differently than what you're used to, therefore your muscles are using more oxygen, which in turn taxes your aerobic system.  Until your body gets used to these new movement patterns, your heart rate will remain elevated.  I know I'm making progress because with each run my average heart rate seems to be dropping. 

I'm still doing my physio exercises and Kris has given me a few more things to do involving various sized rubber bands.   The big one is used as a resistance band for my high knee drills and my VMO strengthening exercises.  The small one is used to help fire my gluteus medius (also known as your side bum!)

Tomorrow I'm headed back to have my first session with Justin, who is a personal trainer that also works with some of the U of T track team.  He's going to add to my list of things I can do in the gym.  I desperately need some help in this area.   I've been working my upper body and core but neglecting my legs, other than doing the things prescribed by my physio.  So my legs have started to get "soft".  They also feel like they've lost some strength so I'm hoping he can help me get it back.  Stay tuned for an update on that!

I'm looking forward to the day when all of this is history.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that day comes soon.  

Patience Grasshopper: The Ongoing Saga Of My Knee Problems

Ok so maybe saga is a bit dramatic but geez man, this feels like it's been dragging on FOREVER.  I've officially been in physio for 3.5 months.  I know I was in rough shape but that kind of seems excessive.  I do think I probably would have been better off NOT running for the first few months of my re-hab process.  I might have progressed a bit faster.  I was warned at the outset that this would take a while.  And I was reminded of that again when I went for my MRI follow up last week.  If there's one thing I don't have a lot of when it comes to myself, is patience.  I want to go, go, go.  But I'm (slowly) learning that I can't always do that.

Last week I felt like I had regressed but I think I just did a little too much.  Thanks to the suggestion of super runner Sasha Gollish, I started keeping an injury journal.  Every day I note how my knees are feeling, what I've done, if I've done all my exercises or not, etc.  Looking back over the last 3.5 months, I've definitely made progress even if it doesn't always feel that way.   Looking at my training log over the last couple of weeks, I've definitely upped the running volume when I probably should have just kept it the same.   One step forward, two steps back.  Needless to say I've learned my lesson and will be re-adjusting my game plan as of this week.  It's going to take a bit of discipline on my part, especially when I'm feeling good.

So what exactly is wrong with my knees?  What did the MRI show?  Well, the doc only ordered the MRI for my left knee as that was the one that was really causing me problems.  I would have pain on extension so whenever I did a plank or push up or anything that required full extension in my leg, I'd have a sharp pinching sensation under my kneecap and along the side of my kneecap.  My chiro and the sports doc both suspected it was the fat pad around my knee that was being pinched because my patella (kneecap) wasn't tracking properly.   I'd also have pain at the outset of my runs and sometimes during my runs in both knees and I could literally feel that my kneecaps were not tracking properly.  They would eventually find their way into the right spot as I got warmed up but afterwards, man did they ever ache.  It hurt to walk up and down stairs.  Sometimes my left knee would buckle a bit when I was walking.   I was a mess.  And to think I trained and raced like that for all of last year.   That is the number one reason I decided to NOT commit to anything this year.   Shit had to get sorted!

The good news first.  All of my tendons and cartilage are intact.  I have no major damage.  YAY.   I was worried I might have done something to my meniscus but that is not the case.  The not so great news....the MRI found three different issues on my left knee and I suspect that a couple of them are also present on my right.

1)  Mild patellar chondrosis and suprapatellar fat pad impingement. 

This essentially means that the cartilage under my patella has been worn and is slightly inflamed.  The fat pad is a soft tissue that lies beneath the patella that separates it from the femoral condyle (end of the thigh bone).  If your kneecap doesn't track properly, the fat pad can get irritated and inflamed.  My left leg hyper extends slightly so this can also be a contributing factor in fat pad impingement (which for some reason is also known as Hoffa's Syndrome).  Getting my kneecap back to tracking normally will help manage this pain.  The bonus?  At least it's only "mild".  I can't even imagine the pain I'd be in if it wasn't. 

Source

2) Mild tendinosis of the superior insertion of the patellar tendon.  

This is the one that bothered me the most.  Tendinosis is never a good thing.  You have to be very careful with it or else it can get a whole lot worse.   My patellar tendon has thickened a bit, most likely due to irritation and having to work a whole lot harder because my kneecaps weren't tracking properly.   My physio doesn't think that tendinosis is the main problem and that this should get better as I progress in my re-hab.  The key is to not over do things.   Patience, grasshopper.

3) A small leaking Bakers cyst.

Sounds gross,  I know.  Apparently these are quite common.  I'm not surprised that I've got a cyst.  I've had them pretty much everywhere else on my body so why not behind my knee?  This one is very small and apparently they come and go.  They are usually the result of a joint issue (surprise!). I don't feel anything behind my knee so this must be pretty tiny.  Apparently they can get pretty big (cue gagging). 

Source

The prognois?  None of these things require surgery (yay).  All of them can be fixed with physical therapy...eventually.  Yup.  There is no timeline on rehabbing something like this (boo!).  I have to keep doing my exercises and be patient.  Just because I'm feeling good doesn't mean I can go out and run 11km.  Nope.  I have to slowly build into things.  I'm used to building at a certain rate while I'm training but with rehab that building process is much slower.  I haven't really bought into that until recently.  Sometimes it takes a while for things to sink into my brain.  I'm chalking it up to all that hair on my head. 

On the positive side, at least I can still run.  I am going to have to be careful with my cycling and I may have to switch back to my road bike, we'll see.  I've been very careful not to overload my quads too much as it doesn't seem to take much to get them really tight.  Although I think that is about to change as my physio now wants me to start doing jump squats.  I was doing body weight squats a couple of times a week.  Now she wants me to progress to jump squats.  I did them last night with her and holy smokes were my quads ever burning.  Amazingly my knees feel fine this morning.  I fully expected them to hurt so I call that WINNING!  

In terms of my running, I have to keep things under 10km for now.  Her suggestion was stick to one distance for a few weeks, then add another km, run at that distance for a few weeks, then add another km etc.  Right now I can run 8km with no degradation in form so that will be my benchmark for the next 4 weeks.  I'm only running 2-3 times a week so I'll keep those runs between 6-8km.  I may also go back for another gait analysis sometime in March to see if there is anything else that needs tweaking in my form.

So, I need to be patient and I have to remember that progress is still progress, no matter how slow.   Right? 

And Suddenly It Clicked

I tightened up my laces and flipped on my shuffle.  "Here goes nothing" I thought.  I hadn't been feeling very good at all when I got up this morning and almost decided to skip this run.  But, I had a plan to follow.  I didn't have to be out for long, I just had to be out.

I walked down the steps and started moving forward, anticipating some kind of pain.  Nothing.  "So far so good."  I ran down the road, Sam Roberts singing in time to my footfalls.  I settled into a rhythm.  Arms relaxed, swinging low and straight.  This had finally become automatic.  All the other nuances of good form were still a work in progress.

Until yesterday.

When I start my run, it has become habit for me to do a "body scan".  How are my feet landing?   What is my breathing like?  Am I relaxed?  Are my glutes firing?   I think about all of these things once I get into a rhythm and make corrections as needed.  This is why my runs are short.  I need to focus on form until my body becomes used to these new muscles working and it all becomes automatic.  That and I'm breaking in new orthotics. 

I could tell from the first few minutes this run wasn't going to be like my others as of late.  Something just felt different.  It felt effortless.  I was almost immediately in the zone.  I can't remember the last time I felt like that on a run.  I could feel my glutes firing, my cadence was high and my body position seemed just right.   I felt like I was flowing.  I glanced down at my Garmin to see a sub 5:00/min km and a low heart rate.  Amazing.

I continued on and lost myself in the rhythm of my breathing, feeling like I could go on forever.  Feeling like my old self.  I allowed myself to think about racing again.   My mind drifted off into planning mode only to be snapped back to reality by the honk of a horn.   I glanced up to see G sitting in the car on the opposite side of the road. And just like that, my run was done.  As much as I wanted to go longer, I have to remember to be smart.

Even thought it was short, yesterday's run gave me hope that things really are moving in the right direction.  I'm allowing myself to be cautiously optimistic. maybe even hopeful that things will be back to normal soon.

The Psychology of Injury

I've had injuries before but nothing quite like this one.  There seems to be more of grey area, more "wait and see" with this vs. other things I've had.  Probably because it's joint related and joints are finicky creatures.  I have a difficult time with grey areas.  I like action, I like answers, I like forward progress.  I'm not a big fan of "let's wait and see" and I think that's why I'm struggling with this injury so much.  There is no concrete timeline as to when I'll be able to start regularly running again.  My body will let me know when it's ready and I can't rush it. 

Did I mention that patience is not one of my strong points?

Suffice to say this injury is doing a number on my head.  Yes, I have good days where I can run up and down stairs pain free, where I can swim without my patella strap and ride my bike but none of these are a substitute for getting outside and running.  I've even had a couple of short, slow pain free runs, which is a small miracle.  Of course I have bad days where I question if I'm ever going to be able to run fast again and I start to wonder if this is going to be something I deal with for the rest of my life.  I then think about how hard I worked to get to the level I was at and how it's all slipping away and I end up in a big puddle of tears like I did the other day.  I know I'm going to have bad days but the trick is to try to turn them around.  Or, at the very least, not let them get so bad that I'm a blubbering mess. 

I've been doing a fair bit of reading on the psychology of sports injuries in the hopes of finding some techniques or advice to help me get through this.  I've experienced a wide range of emotions ranging from frustration to sadness to anger.  Some of the things I've read say that an injured athlete can actually experience 5 stages of grief:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and re-organization.  I'd definitely say I've experienced a few of these things over the last few months.  I feel like I've almost made it to the acceptance and re-organization part.  My injury journal has helped.  It helps me keep track of what I've been doing and when I have pain so I know what I can and cannot do.  Some days there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why my knees hurt but if I look back, I can usually find something.  I've actually had to eliminate a pair of jeans (skinny jeans with no lycra, what the heck was I thinking?!?)  and shoes from my wardrobe rotation right now because they both bothered my knees.  This has helped keep my head in check somewhat and it also serves as a reminder NOT to do something.

Another thing I experienced early on was anxiety and fear due to the expectation of pain.  I would dread walking down stairs because I knew that it would hurt so I started to adjust the way I went down stairs.  The same thing would happen when I started running - I would change my gait until my knees stopped hurting.  That was one of the many things that finally drove me to get myself checked out.  I'm sure that just added to my issues.  Nothing like a little compensation to throw things even more out of whack.  I've also become almost hyper aware of pain.  I notice every single little twinge or niggle in my knees.  It's almost like I'm in permanent taper mode but without the excitement of an impending race.  It's not terribly pleasant.  It is, however, making me much more aware of my body, how I'm moving and what is happening (or not happening in some cases).

Most injured athletes know that a certain amount of physical work is required to rehab an injury.  Rehabilitation work is often tedious and somewhat boring but it is a necessary evil on the road to recovery.   What a lot of people don't think about is the mental aspect of rehab.  An injury can mess with your head big time.  You worry about losing fitness and gaining weight (oh hello tighter than normal pants and slowly atrophying legs)  You lack an outlet for stress relief so you become a bit more irritable.  You lose your mojo.  Running is so much a part of me that I feel more than a little lost without it.  It's my ME time.  It's time for me to get lost in my thoughts, to work through a problem or to unwind from a stressful day.  Or come up with a blog post or two.  I've had some of my best ideas / stories come to me in the middle of a run.  And, as you can see, my blog has become a bit quieter since I haven't been out there pounding the pavement.

One of the most important things to do according to what I've been reading, is to stop negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, which is much easier said than done.  Positive self talk is important in not only in every day life but especially when dealing with the diminished self confidence that arises from an injury.  Instead of worrying if I'll ever run again, I need to focus on what I'm currently doing to get better.  Focus on the positive things that you can control.  I am doing my exercises every day and while things may be slow going, I am seeing progress.  I have to remind myself of that when I start to get down on myself.

I'm doing my best to listen to my body and not set a deadline for anything in regards to my return to regular running.  I go out and test the waters every so often to see if I'm making progress and my body lets me know when I've overdone it.  I was lucky enough to have two pain free runs this week and I tried for a third but that seemed to be a bit too much.  All three were short and they were slow but they were better than nothing.   I'm slowly accepting that this is going to be my new reality for a while.  As I like to say, even a slow run is better than NO run.

Right? 

Baby Steps - Weekly Recap

I'm starting to feel like things with my knees are progressing in the right direction.  Last week I had a total of 5 pain free days in a row.  Then I ran 9km and it all fell apart.  However, it wasn't as bad as it has been.  The pain is different now, it's milder for lack of a better word.  I also knew when I was running that my glutes weren't firing.  I could feel it.  My hamstrings were working but my glutes were not.  This type of awareness is a good thing.  I did a bit of a dynamic warm up but I should have done some of my physio exercises before I went out.  I did that on Saturday's run and it made a big difference. I could feel my glutes and hamstrings working.  My knees hurt after the run but not like they used to.  The pain never sticks around that long any more which is a good thing.  It almost feels like my left knee cap is trying to settle back into where it should be.  It's a strange but good feeling.  Just because I'm starting to feel better, I'm not going to go crazy.  I've been cleared to start doing body weight squats so that's a step in the right direction! 

I'm also getting fitted for new orthotics tonight which should help as well.  That will also mean an easy breaking in period for those so I know these next few weeks will be all about easy little bits of work to get me back on track.  I'm hoping that by December I'll be able to start getting to a regular routine and maybe, just maybe, start thinking about my 2015 season.

I had a pretty good week of workouts this week even with one long day of work.  I even got back on the bike and was completely pain free! WOOHOO! 

Monday:  2700m swim in a.m. Pilates in p.m- I'm totally loving this.  Working with Elyse has done wonders for my shoulders as well as my glutes.
Tuesday:  75 minutes strength and mobility work
Wednesday:  OFF - was up at 3:50 am to get to work for 5:00 am.  So.  GROSS.
Thursday:  9km run in a.m., physio in pm.
Friday:  2350m swim
Saturday:  13.8km run in the a.m. some of it with Michelle and friends.  Love it when I run into people I'd never expect to see in my 'hood!

 Saturday P.M: roughly 600m of drills / stroke correction work with Leanna & David.  Then David and I went and ate these at Bacon Nation.  OMG.  And we can't forget the rules either.

Sunday a.m.:  3350 swim, almost all pull and paddles.  I definitely worked off my bacon sandwich, ha ha.  p.m.:  55 minutes on the computrainer watching the Foo Fighters Sonic Highway.  If I wasn't so darn hungry, I would have watched another hour, it was so good.  I'm sure my legs would have hated me though. 

Total time:  8h 32 minutes with 9000m of swimming!  Heck yes.

I'm riding a good wave right now.  I've been keeping an injury journal which has helped keep my head on straight when I have bad days.  The best part is that the bad days are fewer and far between so I must be doing something right.

How was your weekend?  

Setting New Goals

Normally this time of year, I'm in full on planning / race registering mode for next season.  But, given my current state of affairs in regards to my knees, none of that is actually happening and it's really beginning to wear on me.  I'm tired of hurting.  I'm tired of not being able to do what I love to do.  It's been a real struggle for me mentally.   To go from performing at a high level to barely being able to run 4km without hurting really really sucks.  It's very upsetting.  I was moaning away about it all last night, once again on the verge of tears.   I know I'm driving G a bit crazy because he just turned to me and said "You need to change your mindset".   I love him to bits but when it comes to this sort of thing, sympathy isn't one of his strong points.   This is where he and I differ.  He's a factual, just get on with it kinda guy and I'm an emotional, wallow in my self pity for a bit kind of gal.  Eventually I will kick myself in the ass and get out of this funk but right now I think it's probably a bit necessary. 

Another thing he said to me last night was that I needed to set new goals.  I thought about that a lot this morning in the pool.  He's right.  I can't think about races I want to run next year or times I want to beat.  To be honest, those things are not even remotely on my radar.  I just want to be able to run and move PAIN FREE.  Plain and simple.  That doesn't seem like a lot to ask, right?  I can't even do my regular strength training workout because of my left knee.  So no only am I not able to run, I'm not able to really push myself in the gym which is what I generally do in my off season.  It's killing me.  When I think about the mountain of things that are functionally wrong with me and how long it may take to fix them, I feel so overwhelmed it's discouraging.  I'm not the most patient person so being faced with a potentially long rehab process sucks. 

As usual, G really hit the nail on the head.  I need to set new goal and, like any goal, I have to put in the work and the work has to be done regularly.  I guess it's just like training for a marathon really.  You don't just go out and run 26.2 miles.  You have to put in the work and train for it.  You can't rush it and you can't think about all the things you're up against.  It may not be as exciting as chasing a finish line but unfortunately it's my new reality. 

 I do know that things could be much worse and I'm grateful that they're not.  It's not like I'm not able to do anything.  I can still swim.  Kicking bothers me sometimes so I have to wear a patella strap on my left knee.  I can still ride my bike, for the most part.  I am on my road bike these days so I can take the load off my quads.  There are days where maybe I've done too much so even riding isn't comfortable.  Those are days where I either take it easy or not do anything at all.  I can do pilates.  I still go to the gym, I'm just not doing leg heavy work.  I'm focusing more on balance & core work as well as doing my phsyio exercises. 

I have to look at this as a rebuilding phase.  Yes, I'm losing speed and endurance.  But all those things come back eventually.  I can't worry about any of that now.  None of those things really matter if I'm not running efficiently and pain free.  I have to concentrate on building a better, stronger, healthier me.  In a way that's kind of exciting.  If I can get my body to do all the things that it wasn't doing before, I can only imagine what it will be capable of when it's firing on all cylinders.

Look out world....it may take me a while, but I'm going to be back with a vengeance.