Operation Top 5 Week One: Getting Back To Business

This past week was a good week.  I met with Lauren again, she's given me some new exercises to do, my running is moving along nicely and I put some solid time in on the bike and in the pool.  I also hired a personal trainer for the first time in my life and I met with him on Sunday.   Yup, I'm not messing around this year.  I mean business.  I am so excited by all the potential this year.  It's been a while since I've been this excited.  It feels really nice.

It was kind of nice to get back to work, which essentially means that I have some routine / structure back in my life.  YAY!   I had Monday off, so it was only a four day work week for me which was awesome.  I took advantage of that day off and went over to Xtreme Couture, which is a gym very close to my house, and took a tour and then joined.  It's exactly the kind of place I like.  It's essentially an MMA gym that offers some classes + has a serious weight section.  It will be MUCH better for me than Planet Fitness.  Wednesday night I went into the gym and had my "weight in" and measurements.  As I suspected, I'm carrying a few extra lbs and I've gotten quite soft through my hips and thighs.  But that's ok.  I know that will change, especially now that I'm working with a personal trainer.

This weekend wasn't too action packed which was perfect.  I got a run in after work on Friday,  Saturday morning I had a solid bike workout and then went to WattsUp for their open house.   It was nice to see some familiar faces.   My afternoon was relatively quiet.  I did my physio exercises, worked on my athlete's training plans and did a bit of meal prep.  Sunday was way busier.  I had a swim and a run, a meeting with my friend Jenn for something REALLY exciting that I will share soon.  Then it was off to see my trainer Chris who took me through my paces.   After that I did a bit more meal prep, along with dinner and then had a hot epsom salts bath.

All in all it was a good weekend.

This is how my first week of Operation Top 5 rolled out:

Monday:  3km run - graduated to 2 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking!  It was *just* 20 minutes but I didn't care.

Tuesday:  OFF

Wednesday:  awesome 3000m swim in a.m.  3.3km run in pm

Thursday:  3.7km run in a.m.  It was a beautiful morning.  1h 5 min ride with cadence work in p.m.

Perfect way to start my day!

Friday:  2450m swim, 4.5km run in p.m.

Saturday:  1h 50 minute trainer ride with cadence work then 2x15 minutes in the high end of zone 3. Holy smokes was I ever SOAKED by the time I got off the bike.   You know it's hard when your Garmin tells you it's going to take 44 hours to recover, ha ha.

Sunday:  3350m swim + 5.2km run + 1 hour of strength work.  So much glute work my butt is killing me.   BUT, that's exactly what I need, ha ha.

Total time:  9h 20 minutes.  I managed 20km of running this week and 8800m of swimming!  I had two swims this week that were 3km or over.  It's been a while since I've logged that much mileage in the water.   I have to say, I'm actually really enjoying it.  New year, new attitude, ha ha.

Have you ever worked with a personal trainer?  How was your weekend?

Trust the Process: What I'm Working On

I will be the first to admit that I suck at being patient.  I want things to happen and I want them to happen now.  That's my inner 5 year old talking.  That being said, I'm not afraid of hard work and I understand what it takes to achieve a goal.  I actually enjoy that process.  Rehabbing a chronic injury  however, is not enjoyable work.  It blows.

BUT.  There is a game plan and it seems to be working.  After Scotia I told myself I'd take the time off running, which I did.  Almost 3 weeks in fact.  And when I went back to it,  I ran at a comfortable, easy pace and not for very long.  My longest run before this last break was 8.5km.   In those 3 weeks off, I started to address certain things that I felt were contributing to my knee issues. I also enlisted the help of an amazing physiotherapist and friend of mine, Lauren Dyck

1.  Foot mobility.  I've been wearing orthotics for almost as long as I've been running, which is a really long time.  I think my feet have become stupid.  They don't know how to work properly any more.  I proved this point when I took my orthotics out for a very short run / walk and had one of the best runs I've had in AGES.  I've also noticed that sometimes I curl my toes when I'm running and I'm not really sure why I do that.  I've switched to the Altra Torins and the room in the toe box has made a huge difference to my feet and what they're doing.  Taking my orthotics out of them was like finding the missing piece of the puzzle.  I now feel the ground when I run and I feel much more stable  and confident when I'm running.

The mobility in my left foot, especially my big toe joint is somewhat limited so I've been working on making my toes more flexible and functional.  I've been using Joy-a-toes which are nothing short of amazing.  I've also started doing toe yoga (I kid you not) and working on strengthening my feet by grabbing a towel with my toes and pulling it towards me.  I don't do that as often as I should.  But at least I'm doing it which is something.  My physio exercises also have me working on strengthening my arch.   Lauren has also recommended running barefoot on the treadmill for 1-2 minutes a couple of times a week.  So you know I'll be THAT person at the gym, ha ha.

2.  Ankle Mobility.  Stiff and inflexible ankles will definitely manifest further up your kinetic chain, usually in your knees.  I had ankle mobility and achilles issues 3 years ago, which I worked on fixing and then never bothered to keep up.  I've been asked multiple times if I've sprained my right ankle.  I don't think that I have but I did play soccer for 4 years fairly competitively and I know I've rolled it more than once.  My right ankle is the problem one and all the pain I'm feeling is in my right knee.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Lauren has me doing calf raises and this wonderful little gem to increase my range of motion - except I'm kneeling when I'm doing it. 

3) Core & Glutes:  I'm keeping up my core and glute work as well.  Glute bridges are part of my regular routine as are side planks and cable push outs.  I am heading back to the gym to start lifting heavy again to get some strength back in these legs of mine.

The big thing is getting my VMO to kick in.  It seems to have gotten a bit lazy over the years.  I'm doing band work which is been fantastic for not only my VMO but my gluteus medius as well.  Which is exactly the muscle that you want to be strong when you're a runner!

So, am I running?  Kind of.  Lauren has me on a run walk program.  When I started I was running for one minute and walking for one minute.  I built up to 15 reps of that.  Now, I've graduated to 2 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking.   Today I did that 5 times.  It felt amazing.  The knee pain I was experiencing is gone.  I'm not completely pain free however.  There are some different niggles that have arisen, probably because I've taken my orthotics out of the equation.  It seems to sort itself out once I get moving.  I'm hoping it's just my body getting used to using different muscles.

This is the best I've felt in regards to my running in over a year.  I feel like I'm really on the right track.   Lauren knows her stuff.  Speaking of which, I'm putting a little plug out there for her because I think she's awesome.  She's leading a clinic called the Resilient Runner at Synergy Sports Medicine on Sunday February 7th.  It's a 3 hours and it will cover the basic mechanics of running and how to choose the proper shoe for you.  The clinic will cover:

• Basic mechanics of running and how to choose the "right style" and shoe for you
• Common injuries of the hip, knee and foot, and more importantly how to prevent them
• Simple exercises to improve muscle imbalances associated with running

It's only $45 and you can sign up here - if you want to learn how to stay injury free, this is definitely a good place to start!

I'm feeling much more hopeful than I have been in ages.  I finally feel like I'm heading in the right direction.  I'm trusting the process and learning to be patient because I know it will pay off in the long run.   2016 is going to be a good year.   I can feel it!

Winding Down

Here we are, heading into the final week of 2015.   I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  Ours was the usual bit of crazy.  I also came down with a cold on Christmas Eve so that really sucked.  I'm just getting over it now.   I had big workout plans for Boxing Day but thought it would be better to take that extra day of rest.  I also had a big feast to prepare for so I lounged around in my pjs for a bit in the morning and then tackled cleaning up the dining room and getting things ready for the Kennedy - Rodrigues family invasion.   I managed to squeeze in my physio work and then buckled down in the kitchen to prep some things to freeze for lunches and then get started on dinner.

I still had a pretty good week of workouts, especially now that I'm back running.  Sure it's not more than 3-4km at a time but it's better than nothing.  And, I got to run in shorts on Christmas Eve.  It was 15 degrees and sunny.  Christmas Day we drove to my parents with the top down on the Eos.  Hello El Nino.  The weather is changing a bit now but it's still warmer than it usually is this time of year.  I think my time in shorts is probably done, ha ha.

It was a pretty busy week with my last couple of days of work, G's birthday and then Christmas and Boxing Day.  I didn't make it to the pool during the week at all.  We were out late on Tuesday for G's birthday dinner.  We went to Canoe.  What an experience that was!  Great food and a spectacular view.  So amazing.

The view from Canoe - the 54th Floor of the TD Tower.

Of course I slept in the next day.  Splitting a bottle of wine will do that to me, ha ha. I did make it to hot yoga though.  And I got in a wee run.  Christmas Eve a bunch of us went to WattsUp and did a 75 minute ride inside, even though it was spectacular out.  After the ride 2 of my friends ran / walked with me.  WattsUp is really close to my house so we ran down to the water and they turned around and went back up and I headed east through Samuel Smith Park towards home.   It felt like spring out it was so warm.  And then I got sick, ha ha.  Oh well.

Anyway, this is how this past week rolled out:

Monday:  Skipped swimming but ran 3.17km and then did a 40 minute easy ride on the trainer in the p.m.
Tuesday:  3.28km run, 40 minute strength session
Wednesday:  75 minute hot yoga class, 4.47km run
Thursday:  75 minute ride, 4.07km run

Friday:  OFF - CHRISTMAS!!!!
Saturday:  OFF
Sunday:  2200m swim, 60 minute hot yoga class, 4.4km run.

Total time:  7h 56 minutes.  Gradually building back up to my usual 9 hours.

Despite my knee nonsense, I ended up signing up for yet ANOTHER race in 2015.  We're off to Florida for a training camp in March and this race is at the START of the training camp.  I'm pretty excited because I'll get to meet Kelli Wright and Allison Reed, two ladies I follow on Instagram (and I read Kelli's blog regularly). Team Wattie Ink is holding a training camp that weekend and a bunch of them will be racing so we will all get to meet.  SO MUCH FUN!  It will be my first Olympic distance race in over 10 years, which should be interesting.   It will definitely test my limits.  I'll have to work at pacing myself vs. going all out like I would in a sprint.

How was your Christmas?  Did you travel or stay close to home?  Did you get anything exciting?  G got me a Macbook Air that is super fast and super light.  I also got a lot of interesting beer, ha ha.

Changing My Gait - A Visual Progression

 I've been talking about changing my gait and the work that I've been doing at the Runner's Academy for the last little bit but I've never actually gotten down to the nitty gritty.  Firstly, what IS the Runner's Academy?

This is their mission statement and vision:  The Runner’s Academy is a health and wellness studio offering Chiropractic, Massage Therapy, Personal Training and Run Technique Coaching. The Runner’s Academy is targeting the running community of all skill levels and ages, by bringing education, treatment and performance training to this specific clientele. We will teach you how to Move better and Run faster!

They offer gait analysis, massage therapy, personal training, acupuncture, Chriopractic therapy AND they even have an Alter G treadmill!  It's a Runner's Nirvana.  I have the lovely Sasha Gollish to thank for recommending this place to me.  Specifically one of the founders, Dr. Kris Sheppard.   Herein referred to as the Running Wizard.

I had been getting frustrated with my lack of progress in terms of my knees.  I had gotten my glutes and hamstrings firing but I was still having problems.  I was working on adjusting my gait but I couldn't seem to put it all together.  Enter the Running Wizard.

My first visit was an evaluation.  I was ill prepared for it as it was a last minute appointment.  I at least had some shorts but I was wearing a sweater and borrowed running shoes (Sketchers Go Runs, which were AWESOME btw).   I got up on the treadmill and started running.   Kris took some video.  Here's a screen grab of that first run.

screen grab from Runner's Academy Ubersense Video

It doesn't look *that* bad, right?

He gave me some things to work on - specifically high knee drills, really focusing on picking my legs up and upping my cadence.  The goal was to create more of an oval shape with the movement of my legs vs. a tear drop shape and I had to stop over striding.  That was putting more load on my knees than was necessary.  The goal was to have my foot land as close to under my body as possible.

I came prepared for my next appointment.  He immediately had me get up on the treadmill and start running.  This is what I looked like.  Worse than the week before.  Maybe I should have put the Sketchers back on, ha ha.  Kris had me to a bunch of drills involving jumping over hurdles and running with high knees and then he put me back on the treadmill.

screen grab from Runner's Academy Ubersense Video

This is what I looked like after.

screen grab from Runner's Academy Ubersense Video

My foot is landing a bit more under my body, and my leg isn't trailing out the back in the swing phase of my gait.  It's moving in a tighter circle as you can see by the lack of space between my legs.  I'm getting good push off with my leg and my knees are driving forward.   The first few times I started running like this I felt like I was hopping.  It was very bouncy.  But as I've progressed, I feel like there is less bounce and more forward motion.  It still feels a bit odd to me but it's only been a few weeks.  I know I'm definitely using my glutes and hamstrings because they have become perpetually tight.  I can also feel the power I get from them when I'm pushing off.  It feels so much different than the way I used to run. 

You can really see the difference in the videos so I'm going to see if I can get them from Kris.  

My knees no longer hurt when I run so that is a plus.  However, there are all sorts of other small muscles that I guess I wasn't really using before that I certainly feel now.   I usually gauge my effort by heart rate but when you change your gait, especially your cadence, any sort of heart rate based training goes out the window.  You're moving differently than what you're used to, therefore your muscles are using more oxygen, which in turn taxes your aerobic system.  Until your body gets used to these new movement patterns, your heart rate will remain elevated.  I know I'm making progress because with each run my average heart rate seems to be dropping. 

I'm still doing my physio exercises and Kris has given me a few more things to do involving various sized rubber bands.   The big one is used as a resistance band for my high knee drills and my VMO strengthening exercises.  The small one is used to help fire my gluteus medius (also known as your side bum!)

Tomorrow I'm headed back to have my first session with Justin, who is a personal trainer that also works with some of the U of T track team.  He's going to add to my list of things I can do in the gym.  I desperately need some help in this area.   I've been working my upper body and core but neglecting my legs, other than doing the things prescribed by my physio.  So my legs have started to get "soft".  They also feel like they've lost some strength so I'm hoping he can help me get it back.  Stay tuned for an update on that!

I'm looking forward to the day when all of this is history.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that day comes soon.  

Patience Grasshopper: The Ongoing Saga Of My Knee Problems

Ok so maybe saga is a bit dramatic but geez man, this feels like it's been dragging on FOREVER.  I've officially been in physio for 3.5 months.  I know I was in rough shape but that kind of seems excessive.  I do think I probably would have been better off NOT running for the first few months of my re-hab process.  I might have progressed a bit faster.  I was warned at the outset that this would take a while.  And I was reminded of that again when I went for my MRI follow up last week.  If there's one thing I don't have a lot of when it comes to myself, is patience.  I want to go, go, go.  But I'm (slowly) learning that I can't always do that.

Last week I felt like I had regressed but I think I just did a little too much.  Thanks to the suggestion of super runner Sasha Gollish, I started keeping an injury journal.  Every day I note how my knees are feeling, what I've done, if I've done all my exercises or not, etc.  Looking back over the last 3.5 months, I've definitely made progress even if it doesn't always feel that way.   Looking at my training log over the last couple of weeks, I've definitely upped the running volume when I probably should have just kept it the same.   One step forward, two steps back.  Needless to say I've learned my lesson and will be re-adjusting my game plan as of this week.  It's going to take a bit of discipline on my part, especially when I'm feeling good.

So what exactly is wrong with my knees?  What did the MRI show?  Well, the doc only ordered the MRI for my left knee as that was the one that was really causing me problems.  I would have pain on extension so whenever I did a plank or push up or anything that required full extension in my leg, I'd have a sharp pinching sensation under my kneecap and along the side of my kneecap.  My chiro and the sports doc both suspected it was the fat pad around my knee that was being pinched because my patella (kneecap) wasn't tracking properly.   I'd also have pain at the outset of my runs and sometimes during my runs in both knees and I could literally feel that my kneecaps were not tracking properly.  They would eventually find their way into the right spot as I got warmed up but afterwards, man did they ever ache.  It hurt to walk up and down stairs.  Sometimes my left knee would buckle a bit when I was walking.   I was a mess.  And to think I trained and raced like that for all of last year.   That is the number one reason I decided to NOT commit to anything this year.   Shit had to get sorted!

The good news first.  All of my tendons and cartilage are intact.  I have no major damage.  YAY.   I was worried I might have done something to my meniscus but that is not the case.  The not so great news....the MRI found three different issues on my left knee and I suspect that a couple of them are also present on my right.

1)  Mild patellar chondrosis and suprapatellar fat pad impingement. 

This essentially means that the cartilage under my patella has been worn and is slightly inflamed.  The fat pad is a soft tissue that lies beneath the patella that separates it from the femoral condyle (end of the thigh bone).  If your kneecap doesn't track properly, the fat pad can get irritated and inflamed.  My left leg hyper extends slightly so this can also be a contributing factor in fat pad impingement (which for some reason is also known as Hoffa's Syndrome).  Getting my kneecap back to tracking normally will help manage this pain.  The bonus?  At least it's only "mild".  I can't even imagine the pain I'd be in if it wasn't. 

Source

2) Mild tendinosis of the superior insertion of the patellar tendon.  

This is the one that bothered me the most.  Tendinosis is never a good thing.  You have to be very careful with it or else it can get a whole lot worse.   My patellar tendon has thickened a bit, most likely due to irritation and having to work a whole lot harder because my kneecaps weren't tracking properly.   My physio doesn't think that tendinosis is the main problem and that this should get better as I progress in my re-hab.  The key is to not over do things.   Patience, grasshopper.

3) A small leaking Bakers cyst.

Sounds gross,  I know.  Apparently these are quite common.  I'm not surprised that I've got a cyst.  I've had them pretty much everywhere else on my body so why not behind my knee?  This one is very small and apparently they come and go.  They are usually the result of a joint issue (surprise!). I don't feel anything behind my knee so this must be pretty tiny.  Apparently they can get pretty big (cue gagging). 

Source

The prognois?  None of these things require surgery (yay).  All of them can be fixed with physical therapy...eventually.  Yup.  There is no timeline on rehabbing something like this (boo!).  I have to keep doing my exercises and be patient.  Just because I'm feeling good doesn't mean I can go out and run 11km.  Nope.  I have to slowly build into things.  I'm used to building at a certain rate while I'm training but with rehab that building process is much slower.  I haven't really bought into that until recently.  Sometimes it takes a while for things to sink into my brain.  I'm chalking it up to all that hair on my head. 

On the positive side, at least I can still run.  I am going to have to be careful with my cycling and I may have to switch back to my road bike, we'll see.  I've been very careful not to overload my quads too much as it doesn't seem to take much to get them really tight.  Although I think that is about to change as my physio now wants me to start doing jump squats.  I was doing body weight squats a couple of times a week.  Now she wants me to progress to jump squats.  I did them last night with her and holy smokes were my quads ever burning.  Amazingly my knees feel fine this morning.  I fully expected them to hurt so I call that WINNING!  

In terms of my running, I have to keep things under 10km for now.  Her suggestion was stick to one distance for a few weeks, then add another km, run at that distance for a few weeks, then add another km etc.  Right now I can run 8km with no degradation in form so that will be my benchmark for the next 4 weeks.  I'm only running 2-3 times a week so I'll keep those runs between 6-8km.  I may also go back for another gait analysis sometime in March to see if there is anything else that needs tweaking in my form.

So, I need to be patient and I have to remember that progress is still progress, no matter how slow.   Right? 

And Just Like That....It's Back

I've been working hard at trying to keep a positive mindset about this whole knee issue thing and I was making great strides.  Things were looking up.  Pain was subsiding and I was slowly starting to get back into running.  Not to be a drama queen, but I feel like that has all just gone to hell in a handbasket.  I'm not sure where the issue is stemming from but it all started last week at the gym.  My physio wants me to start incorporating body weight squats and lunges into my workout routine.  I've tried but I can't seem to get them right.  I really concentrate on using my glutes and not my quads, making sure that my knee doesn't go over 90 degrees but I STILL end up with sore knees after.  I did one set of 5 lunges and 2 sets of 10 body weight squats on Tuesday last week and my knees were sore for the rest of the week.  They were finally better by Saturday evening.   I put on my positive pants and kept telling myself that everything was going to be ok.

Being the diligent patient that I am, I figured I'd try again on Tuesday.  I made sure I did everything in front of a mirror and even used a bench to help guide me in my squats (so I didn't go too low).  Once again by end of day Tuesday my knees felt like they used to feel.  I experienced pain going up and down the stairs and the feeling that my kneecaps are kind of floating, just general tenderness.   It's put me in the most foul mood ever.  They were even sore during my swim this morning.  I feel like this is a giant step backwards and it's all I can do to keep myself from crying in my Friday night beer.

The ONE positive thing is that my knees didn't hurt when I was running last night.  There was no pain at the start, which I fully expected, so I suppose that is good news.  Towards the end there was a bit of pain on the outside of both knees but I'm chalking that up to wearing different shoes.  

I had and MRI of my left knee last Wednesday and I'm going in to Pivot tomorrow to get the results.  I'm curious to know if there is some kind of impingement under my left kneecap.  I go back to see my physio next week so I may end up with some different exercises, who knows.  

The other thing I know I need to look at is my bike fit.  I've gotten back on my tri bike which has put me in a different position.  I had the front end dropped a little bit to see if I liked it but the rest of my fit needs to be dialed in as well.  I've been riding on it without issue since the end of December so who knows.  I figured if I had issues they'd show up right away but maybe not.  Either way, I'm growing incredibly frustrated.  I just want to be pain free.  Is that too much to ask?

And Suddenly It Clicked

I tightened up my laces and flipped on my shuffle.  "Here goes nothing" I thought.  I hadn't been feeling very good at all when I got up this morning and almost decided to skip this run.  But, I had a plan to follow.  I didn't have to be out for long, I just had to be out.

I walked down the steps and started moving forward, anticipating some kind of pain.  Nothing.  "So far so good."  I ran down the road, Sam Roberts singing in time to my footfalls.  I settled into a rhythm.  Arms relaxed, swinging low and straight.  This had finally become automatic.  All the other nuances of good form were still a work in progress.

Until yesterday.

When I start my run, it has become habit for me to do a "body scan".  How are my feet landing?   What is my breathing like?  Am I relaxed?  Are my glutes firing?   I think about all of these things once I get into a rhythm and make corrections as needed.  This is why my runs are short.  I need to focus on form until my body becomes used to these new muscles working and it all becomes automatic.  That and I'm breaking in new orthotics. 

I could tell from the first few minutes this run wasn't going to be like my others as of late.  Something just felt different.  It felt effortless.  I was almost immediately in the zone.  I can't remember the last time I felt like that on a run.  I could feel my glutes firing, my cadence was high and my body position seemed just right.   I felt like I was flowing.  I glanced down at my Garmin to see a sub 5:00/min km and a low heart rate.  Amazing.

I continued on and lost myself in the rhythm of my breathing, feeling like I could go on forever.  Feeling like my old self.  I allowed myself to think about racing again.   My mind drifted off into planning mode only to be snapped back to reality by the honk of a horn.   I glanced up to see G sitting in the car on the opposite side of the road. And just like that, my run was done.  As much as I wanted to go longer, I have to remember to be smart.

Even thought it was short, yesterday's run gave me hope that things really are moving in the right direction.  I'm allowing myself to be cautiously optimistic. maybe even hopeful that things will be back to normal soon.

The Psychology of Injury

I've had injuries before but nothing quite like this one.  There seems to be more of grey area, more "wait and see" with this vs. other things I've had.  Probably because it's joint related and joints are finicky creatures.  I have a difficult time with grey areas.  I like action, I like answers, I like forward progress.  I'm not a big fan of "let's wait and see" and I think that's why I'm struggling with this injury so much.  There is no concrete timeline as to when I'll be able to start regularly running again.  My body will let me know when it's ready and I can't rush it. 

Did I mention that patience is not one of my strong points?

Suffice to say this injury is doing a number on my head.  Yes, I have good days where I can run up and down stairs pain free, where I can swim without my patella strap and ride my bike but none of these are a substitute for getting outside and running.  I've even had a couple of short, slow pain free runs, which is a small miracle.  Of course I have bad days where I question if I'm ever going to be able to run fast again and I start to wonder if this is going to be something I deal with for the rest of my life.  I then think about how hard I worked to get to the level I was at and how it's all slipping away and I end up in a big puddle of tears like I did the other day.  I know I'm going to have bad days but the trick is to try to turn them around.  Or, at the very least, not let them get so bad that I'm a blubbering mess. 

I've been doing a fair bit of reading on the psychology of sports injuries in the hopes of finding some techniques or advice to help me get through this.  I've experienced a wide range of emotions ranging from frustration to sadness to anger.  Some of the things I've read say that an injured athlete can actually experience 5 stages of grief:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and re-organization.  I'd definitely say I've experienced a few of these things over the last few months.  I feel like I've almost made it to the acceptance and re-organization part.  My injury journal has helped.  It helps me keep track of what I've been doing and when I have pain so I know what I can and cannot do.  Some days there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why my knees hurt but if I look back, I can usually find something.  I've actually had to eliminate a pair of jeans (skinny jeans with no lycra, what the heck was I thinking?!?)  and shoes from my wardrobe rotation right now because they both bothered my knees.  This has helped keep my head in check somewhat and it also serves as a reminder NOT to do something.

Another thing I experienced early on was anxiety and fear due to the expectation of pain.  I would dread walking down stairs because I knew that it would hurt so I started to adjust the way I went down stairs.  The same thing would happen when I started running - I would change my gait until my knees stopped hurting.  That was one of the many things that finally drove me to get myself checked out.  I'm sure that just added to my issues.  Nothing like a little compensation to throw things even more out of whack.  I've also become almost hyper aware of pain.  I notice every single little twinge or niggle in my knees.  It's almost like I'm in permanent taper mode but without the excitement of an impending race.  It's not terribly pleasant.  It is, however, making me much more aware of my body, how I'm moving and what is happening (or not happening in some cases).

Most injured athletes know that a certain amount of physical work is required to rehab an injury.  Rehabilitation work is often tedious and somewhat boring but it is a necessary evil on the road to recovery.   What a lot of people don't think about is the mental aspect of rehab.  An injury can mess with your head big time.  You worry about losing fitness and gaining weight (oh hello tighter than normal pants and slowly atrophying legs)  You lack an outlet for stress relief so you become a bit more irritable.  You lose your mojo.  Running is so much a part of me that I feel more than a little lost without it.  It's my ME time.  It's time for me to get lost in my thoughts, to work through a problem or to unwind from a stressful day.  Or come up with a blog post or two.  I've had some of my best ideas / stories come to me in the middle of a run.  And, as you can see, my blog has become a bit quieter since I haven't been out there pounding the pavement.

One of the most important things to do according to what I've been reading, is to stop negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, which is much easier said than done.  Positive self talk is important in not only in every day life but especially when dealing with the diminished self confidence that arises from an injury.  Instead of worrying if I'll ever run again, I need to focus on what I'm currently doing to get better.  Focus on the positive things that you can control.  I am doing my exercises every day and while things may be slow going, I am seeing progress.  I have to remind myself of that when I start to get down on myself.

I'm doing my best to listen to my body and not set a deadline for anything in regards to my return to regular running.  I go out and test the waters every so often to see if I'm making progress and my body lets me know when I've overdone it.  I was lucky enough to have two pain free runs this week and I tried for a third but that seemed to be a bit too much.  All three were short and they were slow but they were better than nothing.   I'm slowly accepting that this is going to be my new reality for a while.  As I like to say, even a slow run is better than NO run.

Right? 

Setting New Goals

Normally this time of year, I'm in full on planning / race registering mode for next season.  But, given my current state of affairs in regards to my knees, none of that is actually happening and it's really beginning to wear on me.  I'm tired of hurting.  I'm tired of not being able to do what I love to do.  It's been a real struggle for me mentally.   To go from performing at a high level to barely being able to run 4km without hurting really really sucks.  It's very upsetting.  I was moaning away about it all last night, once again on the verge of tears.   I know I'm driving G a bit crazy because he just turned to me and said "You need to change your mindset".   I love him to bits but when it comes to this sort of thing, sympathy isn't one of his strong points.   This is where he and I differ.  He's a factual, just get on with it kinda guy and I'm an emotional, wallow in my self pity for a bit kind of gal.  Eventually I will kick myself in the ass and get out of this funk but right now I think it's probably a bit necessary. 

Another thing he said to me last night was that I needed to set new goals.  I thought about that a lot this morning in the pool.  He's right.  I can't think about races I want to run next year or times I want to beat.  To be honest, those things are not even remotely on my radar.  I just want to be able to run and move PAIN FREE.  Plain and simple.  That doesn't seem like a lot to ask, right?  I can't even do my regular strength training workout because of my left knee.  So no only am I not able to run, I'm not able to really push myself in the gym which is what I generally do in my off season.  It's killing me.  When I think about the mountain of things that are functionally wrong with me and how long it may take to fix them, I feel so overwhelmed it's discouraging.  I'm not the most patient person so being faced with a potentially long rehab process sucks. 

As usual, G really hit the nail on the head.  I need to set new goal and, like any goal, I have to put in the work and the work has to be done regularly.  I guess it's just like training for a marathon really.  You don't just go out and run 26.2 miles.  You have to put in the work and train for it.  You can't rush it and you can't think about all the things you're up against.  It may not be as exciting as chasing a finish line but unfortunately it's my new reality. 

 I do know that things could be much worse and I'm grateful that they're not.  It's not like I'm not able to do anything.  I can still swim.  Kicking bothers me sometimes so I have to wear a patella strap on my left knee.  I can still ride my bike, for the most part.  I am on my road bike these days so I can take the load off my quads.  There are days where maybe I've done too much so even riding isn't comfortable.  Those are days where I either take it easy or not do anything at all.  I can do pilates.  I still go to the gym, I'm just not doing leg heavy work.  I'm focusing more on balance & core work as well as doing my phsyio exercises. 

I have to look at this as a rebuilding phase.  Yes, I'm losing speed and endurance.  But all those things come back eventually.  I can't worry about any of that now.  None of those things really matter if I'm not running efficiently and pain free.  I have to concentrate on building a better, stronger, healthier me.  In a way that's kind of exciting.  If I can get my body to do all the things that it wasn't doing before, I can only imagine what it will be capable of when it's firing on all cylinders.

Look out world....it may take me a while, but I'm going to be back with a vengeance.  

A Work In Progress, A Race & A Recap

So remember when I said I was done racing for the season?  Yeah....about that.  Well, this weekend my awesome run group is headed to Niagara Falls to run in either the half marathon or full marathon events.  Since I'm not really up to either of those distances at my current fitness level, I signed up for the 5km.   I figure I can tough that out.  I'll tape my knee up and give 'er. 

I know, I know.  I have a problem.  But it could be worse right?

Speaking of knees, I've been on one heck of a roller coaster ride these days.  I feel fine for a while and then I do something stupid, like 2 back to back hilly rides, followed by a run and then they bug me again.  I have an appointment to see Dr. Schofield at Pivot but I was so incredibly frustrated this past week (like to the point of tears frustration) that I decided to make an appointment with a physiotherapist.  So, back to Pivot I went to see Mary Ellen.  After much poking, prodding and testing, she determined that my left knee is fixable (YAY!) and that my deep core doesn't seem to work, along with my glutes.  Actually my glutes work but only on one side.  My hip flexors also like to take on a fair bit of work so I have to learn to shut them off.  She's given me 3 exercises to do every day.  One of them is so subtle it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything.  She also told me to continue with Pilates.   I have a feeling this is going to be a slow going process.  But I shouldn't be surprised really.  I'm sure it took me a long time to get this way so I suspect it will take me a long time to fix it. 

Despite the roller coaster ride this week, I still managed a pretty good week of activity. 

Monday:  55km ride (burned off my turkey and pumpkin pie)
Tuesday:  80 minutes strength & mobility, followed by a 5.66km run that sucked horribly.
Wednesday: 2650m swim in a.m., pilates in p.m.
Thursday:  75 minutes of strength & mobility in a.m, followed by 30 minutes on the computrainer in p.m.
Friday:  2100m swim - all stroke work.  FUN!
Saturday:  OFF - but spent a couple of hours walking around the Annual Fall Bike sale.  Finally got myself some decent warm cycling gloves as well as a nice warm jacket.
Sunday:  20km bike ride along the Scotiabank race course to cheer people on + 25 minutes of core & physio work.

Total:  9h 50 minutes

I had a blast cheering people on yesterday.  I knew so many people racing.  It was a little bitter sweet for me to not be doing the race this year.  It's usually my fall "A" race and this was the first time in 3 years that I didn't race it.  But my vocal chords and arms got a good workout yesterday - I had 3 cowbells and wasn't afraid to use them.  I love seeing the smile on people's faces when they hear their name called out.   My run club worked the Power Gel aid station so I hung out there for a bit and then walked over to the other side of the loop to cheer people on.   It was a perfect day for racing, nice and cool.  There was a headwind on the way back in though but there almost always is on this course.  Several of my friends had PR's which is fabulous.  Christina, being one of them.  I got a few shots of her flying by me.  One of my athletes, Kristen, also had a 4 minute PR even after suffering some knee issues in training.  My friend Heather also had a massive PR yesterday.  She took almost 10 minutes off her time from last year!!  I am SO happy for these guys.  Hard work definitely pays off. 

The lead ladies in a pace line.

Canadian speedster Lanni Marchant hanging with the boys.

Christina a.k.a The Athletarian on her way to a PR

How was your weekend?  Did you race?

The Yellow Birds First Flight

Only two more sleeps until I can run in a tank top and shorts.  YES!  I cannot even begin to tell you how. flipping. excited I am.  This winter has sucked the big one.  The only thing that would have made it worse was if we had a ton of snow.  Thankfully we haven't had too much.  It's just been grey, cold and generally miserable.  I need to see the sun and bask in it's warmth.   But for now, it's two more days of cold and grey.   Yeah yeah, I know, I'll shut up now.

Despite the grey skies outside, things have been looking up.  I had another really good A.R.T session yesterday morning and that, coupled with the 90 minute hot yoga session I did on Sunday has really helped to loosen everything up.  On Monday, I even managed to do 3 sets of 8 reps of squats with no knee issues.  I used a much lighter weight than normal (65lbs vs 80lbs) and I felt great.  No pain, nothing.  WOOHOO.   The only pain I felt was in my glutes the next day.  Proof that I actually used my butt muscles!  Yeah!

The real test for me would be when I hit the road for my run groups Tuesday Tempo session.  My training plan had me slated to run 13km with 10 of it at 4:35/km's.  Tough considering I hadn't done any speed work in about 10 days.  I figured I was going to suck some serious wind.  My PT had taped both my knees up so I was feeling really good about letting loose.  In fact, I was absolutely chomping at the bit to go out and run fast.  I wasn't going to be stupid about it obviously.  If I didn't feel great, I wasn't going to push it.  But if I felt good, then I was going to let the dogs out.

I was also going to be taking these babies on their maiden voyage outside.

The Yellow Birds

I got to the community centre early and a dynamic warm up and then started my 3km warm up.  My plan was to get back close to when the club left so I wasn't standing around too long.  I started out slowly resisting the urge to push the pace.  My knees felt a little weird but I think that was due to the tape.  My right one was bothering me a bit so I started thinking about taking the tape off when I got back.  But once I hit my turn around point, it had stopped and I didn't think about it again.  I got back about 10 minutes before we were scheduled to leave.  Most of the group had arrived and I made sure I stretched and tried to keep limber because I knew that as soon as we started, it was hammer time.  I had hoped that at least one of the fast guys was going to be there so I could have someone to chase and sure enough, Steve was there.  On these runs, he's always in front of me by about 300m or so which is perfect.  It's close enough that I never lose the motivation to keep up the chase.   I figured the first 2km would be the test for me.  If I felt alright in those 2km then I was going to give 'er.  That 2km came and went and I felt amazing.  Well, as amazing as you can feel when you're pushing the pace.  My legs felt strong, my footing was sure and I was confident in my stride.  The Yellow Birds were flying.  I felt great until about 10km in, then I really started to feel fatigued.  The lactic acid was starting to build up in my legs and any uphills I hit became a bit of a challenge.  Guess that's what happens when you take 10 days off running.  I shut the whining down and focused on working through the hurt.   Pushing the limits just a bit farther.  With 500m left, I really pushed the pace, hitting 4:05 km's.  I was hoping to sneak under an hour for just over 13km but I didn't quite make it.  I was close.  The Yellow Birds had an excellent maiden voyage.

BOOM!

It's official.  I'm back. 

Verdict #2 & A Plan of Action

Good News!  My athletic world as I know it is not going to end.   Yesterday, I had two appointments to have my knees looked at.  In the morning I met with a physiotherapist at the same sports medicine clinic I went to on Friday and in the afternoon, because I am all about getting a second opinion, I went to see another sports medicine doctor at another clinic that I go to from time to time.  Both ladies said similar things to me which is a huge relief.

The physiotherapist did a bunch of tests on my knees and quads to determine flexibility and range of motion.  My knees are actually in pretty good shape with the exception of my left one.  It wasn't quite sitting the way it should be.  She then did some manipulation on my quads and discovered a whole bunch of knots.  Especially in my left leg.  Surprise! She then tested my hip strength.  Oh my god.  It was absolutely DISMAL.  I had suspected that was the case.  My right side was worse than my left.  Weird since I'm right side dominant but whatever.   She opted to tape up my left knee so it would get used to being in its proper place.  I've been told to leave the tape on for 3-4 days.  It's definitely taken some getting used to, especially at first because it didn't bend.  It's given me quite the gangsta style strut that's for sure.  I am scheduled to go back and see her tomorrow for some A.R.T work on my quads which I suspect will be hideously painful.  She'll also give me some hip strengthening exercises to do.   I've got my trusty thera band with me today so I can do some glute work in my office.  Thank goodness I'm not terribly busy right now. 

All taped up and ready to go.

 Sports doc number 2 basically said the same thing.  She said my knees looked good but that my quads seemed to be very dominant and that my hips were quite weak.  She did a couple of tests on me and said that I don't seem to be able to engage my gluteus medius very well, if at all.  She agreed that some A.R.T work and some hip strengthening exercises would be the way to go.  Funny, I've been having issues with all my glute muscles not really wanting to work properly.   Guess I need to work at turning my butt into a useful part of this machine vs. mere decoration, ha ha.

Source

 The good news is, I should be able to run.  THANK. FREAKING. GOODNESS because I just got yet another pair of Mizunos that need to be worn.  Ha. ha.  I'm going to name these ones Yellow Birds.  Some people name their cars or their bikes, I happen to name my shoes.  Is that so wrong? 

The Yellow Birds - cause I'm going to fly in these babies!

Am I the only crazy person out there that names their shoes?

The Sunday Ritual: Umami Burgers & Beach Time

Since I am reluctantly taking some self imposed time off until my knee issues get sorted out, I had a fair bit of spare time this weekend.  It's amazing how that happens when you take roughly 3.5 to 4 hours of exercise plus the stretching, showering and post workout food prep out of your weekend.  Not to mention the post run lounging / napping I like to do.  So, since I had the time, I made myself a rather ambitious to do list, most of it revolving around meal prep for the week.  I have to admit, once marathon training starts, I tend to wing it, relying mostly on leftovers or my favourite easy go to salad:  broccoli slaw with peppers, green onions, cucumbers, cilantro, peanuts, canned tuna all topped with either a sesame dressing or a peanut sauce dressing.  Incredibly easy with minimal prep.  And, it's pretty "clean" other than the dressing.  If I was uber organized, I'd make my own dressing but right now, that's a wee bit ambitious.  Although if I'm off for much longer, I will probably go down that road.  I do have a cupboard full of empty mason jars that are just begging to be used.

I usually make a big batch of turkey burgers along with some salmon cakes and then G will grill up a bunch of chicken breasts.  I also try to cook up a bunch of veggies as well.  I've almost run out of the turkey burgers and I didn't bother buying any canned salmon this week so there won't be any salmon cakes.  Since I bought a couple of packages of extra lean ground beef, I spent Sunday afternoon making some Umami burgers.  Oh yes.  I've been messing around with this recipe for a while and I think I've finally nailed it but I'll let you know once I actually have one of the burgers.  If it knocks my socks off, I'll post the recipe.  

What is umami you ask? 

Umami is defined as a savoury taste.  It is one of the 5 basic tastes along with sweet, sour, bitter & salty.  It is a Japanese word that means "pleasant savoury taste".  There is actually quite a science behind this taste as well and you can read all about it here.

Because I had all this extra energy and spare time, I spent Saturday afternoon roasting a huge pile of veggies & cooking some quinoa.  I roasted some zucchini, peppers, sweet onion & cremini mushrooms that I plan on adding to quinoa for a quick post workout dinner.  Top it with some feta cheese and a splash of balsamic vinegar and you're good to go.  I also roasted a sweet potato for some post work out carbs.  Then I got into the white veggies:  parsnips and cauliflower.  I cut the parsnips up like fries, tossed them with a bit of olive oil and salt and popped them in the oven for about 20-25 minutes at 375 degrees.  Amazing.  The cauliflower was cut up, tossed with olive oil, garlic and lemon juice.  Also amazing and so. freaking. easy.  Now I have a ton of veggies that I can either toss on a salad, or use as a side dish in my lunch.  Love it.

Veggies:  roasted and ready to go!

Umami burgers...ooh yeah baby.

I'm setting myself a little challenge for the next couple of weeks and it's being fueled completely by vanity.  In two weeks, G and I will be sitting on a beach in Mexico, soaking up the sun.  That means it's bikini time.  For someone who's in her early 40's, I think I look alright.  I'm pretty lean but my goal is to fine tune my abs.  Anyone that knows me that's reading this is probably ready to smack me up the side of the head.  I know, I know...so very vain.  But I don't care.  I've never had really well defined abs so my goal is to get as close as I can to that state by the time we get to Mexico.  That is going to mean I need to step up the #plankAday work (I've been doing it about 3-4 times a week) and I am going to have to be really diligent about what I eat.  Especially in terms of sugar.  So that means no afternoon chocolate.  Whenever I feel like having something sweet, I am going to make myself a cup of tea instead.  I have a couple of awesome teas from Harney and Sons that satisfy my sweet tooth perfectly: Pomegranate Oolong and Hot Cinnamon Sunset.   It's like dessert in a cup.


I'm going to have to be extra diligent food wise because it looks like this will be a week of no running or cycling.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I may be given orders to rest my knee as much as possible when I see the PT tomorrow.  That means I'm really going to have to tighten up my nutrition belt for the next couple of weeks.  I'm always up for a challenge so lets see how I do with this one!

Do you take time on the weekend to prep meals for the week or do you just wing it?

Not What I Kneed Right Now....

For the last couple of weeks, I've been feeling a lot creakier than normal, especially around my knees.  G said it's just because I'm getting old.  I'm sure that's probably a part of it but of course, I'm worried that it might be a bit more than that.  For the last 3 weeks my knees have been achy and I've found the going up and down the stairs seems to really bother them.  I am generally ok when I'm running however.  It's afterwards when they feel sore.  My left one especially.   I figured it was probably due to my incredibly tight muscles so I finally went it for a massage last Wednesday after taking the previous Thursday off from running.  My run group was scheduled to do hill repeats that day and I didn't think that sort of pounding would be good for my knees so I skipped it and spent some quality time with the ice pack and some advil.  I still felt a bit creaky when I started my long run that Saturday but I was fine by the end.  I had hoped that some good stretching would help so I foam rolled and stretched really well when I finished.  Walking was fine but the stairs were an issue once again.  Despite that, I went out to do my group tempo run last Tuesday and it wasn't pure misery but it was pretty close.  I took it really easy going up and down the hills (of course it was a hilly route).  I stretched and iced my knees when I got home and hoped that my massage would sort everything out.

My massage was 90 minutes of pain.  He did a lot of work on my upper body and then focused on the area around my right knee (which was the area that was most bothersome at the time).  He did some work on my hamstrings, quads and calves and just skimmed over my IT band because we ran out of time.   I had high hopes that my knee pain would be gone.  The stairs didn't really bother me when I went down them so I figured that was a plus.  I probably should have just taken Thursday off completely but no, I'm stubborn.  I figured speed work wasn't the best idea since my legs were still healing but an easy run should be fine.  So I went out and ran an easy 11km.  Of course my legs felt like crap.  My knees seemed to be somewhat ok.  There was a bit of creaking and tweaking but I thought that was just things getting "settled" so to speak.  I had hoped all would be fine by my run on Saturday but alas it was not to be.  As soon as I started running, my knees started creaking.  After about 15 minutes in, they settled down but then throughout the course of the run, I had all sorts of weird little tweaks and pains.  Then they just ached for the rest of the day.  However, I got on the Computrainer on Sunday and had a great ride, which was strange.  I figured it would probably suck.  But, my knee seemed to be settling down so I was happy.  I figured a swim on Monday would do me good.  Monday was fin work and by the end of that 2600m swim, my knees were bugging me again.  My 15 minutes on the treadmill yesterday was not good.  I had all sorts of weird pain going on.  So much so that at one point I actually had to change my gait.  Not. Good.  Needless to say I skipped last nights tempo run.  I got on the bike instead.  While my knees feel a lot better today, I am still a bit worried that something is up.  So, to cover my bases, I've got 2 appointments at 2 different sports medicine clinics.  Paranoid much?

It almost feels like my kneecaps aren't tracking properly.   To say that I am freaking out would be an understatement.  My physiotherapist made a comment about how quad dominant I was and when I look at my legs, especially when I am flexing or engaging my quad muscles, I have to agree.  Having stronger quads than hamstrings is not the best thing  if you're a runner.  Little did I know that most women are naturally more quad dominant than hamstring dominant (so I found out when reading the New Rules of Lifting for Women).  Having stronger quads than hamstrings can end up pulling your knee caps out of alignment, especially if the quads and IT band get really right.  If there is anything that I'm incredibly paranoid about it's knee issues.  In my mind muscle issues are generally an easier fix than joint issues.  A few massages or ART sessions and you're back to normal in a couple of weeks.  When it comes to your knees, well, if you start feeling constant ache or pain in them that can never be a good thing.   It's all bone and cartilage in there and that has to be treated right! 

I suspect some of it was due to running too long in my old shoes.  I also suspect that my quads are starting to overpower my hamstrings in terms of strength so I've decided to step away from the squat rack for a few weeks and focus on adding some more hamstring work into my routine (the only thing I currently do for them is dead lifts).  I'm not going to stop squatting altogether, I'm just going to do some variations so I can work on strengthening my vastus medialis.  That little bugger is the key to balancing out your quads and keeping your knee where it needs to be.  A nicely developed vastus medialis looks pretty sexy too. 

Source

Since I decided to part ways with the squat rack, I spent some time wandering around the big boys area in the gym checking out the variety of machines I could use to do leg work.  I settled on one leg press machine that had individual foot plates that swung independently of each other.  I checked the little icon to see what muscles it worked and sure enough it said, glutes, hamstrings and quads.  I loaded a couple of 35lb plates on and went to work.  Knee felt fine.  I think I need to take my hips out of the squatting equation and just isolate my legs.  I'm not going to get the same amount of muscle engagement since you don't really use your core to stabilize yourself too much when you're sitting down vs when you're balancing a barbell on your shoulders but, if it helps save my knees then I'll take it. 

I also re-introduced another old favourite of mine into my workout.  I call it the wall squat but I think it's also known as the ski squat.  The key is to make sure your legs are at 90 degrees so when I am at the gym, I always do this by a mirror so I can check my form.   This is a great isometric exercise that can be done anywhere. I have been known to do these at work from time to time just for the hell of it.  Why not?

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When I got up this morning, my knees felt better.  Not 100%.  Probably about 80%.  There is still some discomfort going down the stairs, especially after I've been sitting for a while but, it's definitely better than it has been.  I think I'm going to take tomorrow off from running as well.  Another day of rest couldn't hurt.  Then we'll see what this musculoskeletal doctor I'm seeing on Friday has to say.  Fingers crossed it's nothing bad.

Have you ever had any knee issues?  If so, what was the outcome?