Redefining my Why

As my first triathlon of the season approaches,  I've been thinking a lot about my goals for this race.   Actually, I've been thinking about my goals and expectations for the SEASON.  Normally by now my race calendar is full and I've got goals for each race.  This year is different.  I actually feel like I'm starting over in a sense because of my injury last year.   Being sidelined really messed with my head.  Looking back now I'd say that perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.   As I posted on Instagram earlier this week, before my injury, if you had asked me what my main motivation was for racing, I would have said, without hesitation, "to get on the podium".  That was the main reason I raced.  I liked winning.  I liked knowing I was strong enough to come out on top.  I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to win but when it's your main motivation (and you're not getting paid to race), I think it can take the enjoyment out of the process.

After I got injured, I lost my mojo.  The desire to compete withered up for a little while because I felt like I'd never get back to my old self again.  As I started rebuilding my running base, I began to realize that I didn't necessarily want to get back to my old self.  Instead I decided to focus on the process and the enjoyment of being able to move my body.  I stopped obsessing about paces and watts and just went out to play.  I'm continuing to do so.  As I get closer to my goal races, I know the more structured hard work will come.  The why behind the workouts has changed.  My WHY has changed.  I want to be able to go out and know that I have given everything I had on the day,  NO MATTER WHAT THE END RESULT and BE HAPPY with that.

The older I get the more I realize that I am my only competition.  Don't get me wrong, if you have a 45 - 49 written on your calf, I will still do my best to chase you down, because that's part of the fun of racing. But ultimately, it's about being the best I can be on that day, regardless of what the end result is.  I used to think this way when I started racing but lost sight of it when I started having success in the sport.   I used to get so anxious before races because I felt I had to perform.   That's not an enjoyable way to train and race.

That being said, I am a competitor, it's part of who I am and I am comfortable with that.  I'm not comfortable with the way it shaped my attitude towards racing so I'm changing that.

Sunday's race promises to be a fun journey.   I haven't raced an Olympic distance race in over 10 years (Guelph Lake 2005 was my last Olympic!)  I honestly don't know HOW to race this distance effectively.  I'm either going all out in a sprint or I'm pacing myself in a half Ironman so this will be interesting to say the least.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to consciously hold myself back on the bike so I don't completely cave on the run.  I haven't run more than 7km off the bike, nor have I done much targeted speed work.  Being in Florida has been all about playing, mostly on the bike, not so much on the run.

So how do I think I'm going to fare on Sunday?  These are my thoughts:

Swim:  27-30 minutes.  This will all depend on my state of mind / calmness level race morning.  I am in the first wave that goes off at 7:30 am.  It's still a bit darkish at that point of the day here.  And the water we swim in is BLACK.  It's really dark.  It's hard to see your hand extended in front of you it's that dark.  So yes, I find it scary and unnerving.  It can also get quite choppy.  Florida is super windy. The last few mornings here have been very windy so I'm hoping that perhaps it will die down by the weekend.

Bike:  1:13-1:15.  It will all depend on the wind and how my legs are feeling.  There are a few good little climbs on this road along with some nice quick descents.

Run:  47-50 minutes.  This will all depend on how well I execute my nutrition on the bike and how hard I go on the bike.

Factor in 3 minutes total for transitions since it's my first race and I'm more than likely going to be totally discombobulated.

If I nail everything and don't freak out on the swim, I'll break 2:30.  If I have a few hiccups then I suspect I'll be closer to 2:35-2:40 or so.  Considering my last Olympic was 2:42,  I'll be happy with anything under that!  But most importantly, I will be out there in my happy place, giving it my all.

I'm curious to know what motivates YOU?  What's YOUR why?

Happy St. Patrick's day and, Happy Friday.  I wonder how many people are skipping off work today to celebrate, ha ha.

~ Coach PK

What Gets You Out of Bed?

Things have gotten a bit quiet around here as of late so I decided to use the time to start cleaning up my office.  This is a pretty big task since my office seems to be a dumping ground for left over props and other assorted things from shoots.   Some of these things get put to good use (see below) and some just end up in a pile gathering dust. 

This is a hard metal chair made more comfortable and cozy by the addition of fun fur.  

While I was cleaning up,  I discovered my old Ironman Switzerland Inspiration Board from 2007.  It was a bulletin board I hung in my office with a few bits of inspiration for my 10 month journey to the start line.  On it, I found this list.  I had to laugh when I read it because almost everything on here is still somewhat applicable (with the exception of #8, damn aging metabolism).  The list has definitely grown since I wrote this but I can safely say that these are still many of the things that get me out of bed and keep me motivated to stay active. 

What keeps you motivated?  Anything on this list that sounds familiar?

What's Your Motivation?

When I started running 13 years ago, it was still considered somewhat of a "fringe" sport in most circles.  There weren't a ton of road races or marathons to choose from in Ontario.  There were a few "big" ones (and by big, I mean well publicized).  Around the Bay was a big one as was the Toronto International Marathon (which is now the Good Life Marathon) and the Waterfront Marathon (which is now The Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon).   It used to be that you could decide last minute to enter one of these races as they hardly sold out.  How that has changed.  The running industry has grown exponentially over the last 20 years and shows no real signs of stopping.  This growth has meant that more and more people are testing themselves at races.  This in turn means that more and more races are filling up quicker.  It's not unheard of for some of the more popular races to sell out months before the actual event.  The Chilly Half Marathon, Around the Bay and The Toronto Women's Half are popular ones.  Coincidentally they are 3 of the races that I'd like to do next year.

It's crazy to think that my racing year hasn't even ended yet and I'm already thinking about what races I'm going to do next year so I can get my registrations in early.   I do see this as a positive thing though.  To me it means that more and more people are stepping up to the plate and making the choice to lead a healthy lifestyle.   They are following a plan and sticking with it to the end.  That is no small feat.  It takes dedication and perseverance.   The sense of accomplishment one feels after completing a marathon, or any race that you've put the training in for, is something you will always have.

For me, the accomplishment is only part of the picture.  I enjoy the process of training as much as the result.  I am always learning and to me that is a big part of the process.  A race is where you put your knowledge to the test, along with your endurance, stamina & guts.  You put what you've learned into practice.  That's what keeps me motivated, that's what keeps me coming back to the start line.

What's your motivation?