I'm still alive. This has been a very strange and emotional two weeks. I went from going a million miles an hour to a dead stop at work, which is nice as I feel like I can breathe again. Things were starting to feel like they were getting a little out of control so to have some calm back in my life is a good thing.
To add to the strange and emotional vibe, last week, it was announced that Gord Downie, singer of the Tragically Hip has terminal brain cancer. He's only 52. The Hip have never been one of my favourite bands (I should probably be kicked out of Canada for that) but they are Canadian icons. For some reason, this news really upset me. I'm not really sure why. Perhaps because he's not much older than G. And perhaps because his passing will mark the end of a band (and a voice) that helped shape the landscape of Canadian music.
On the injury front I have been wavering back and forth like a yoyo in terms of my race. A week ago I had decided that it wasn't worth stressing over and that I wasn't going to do the race. Then I went up north last weekend, got on my bike and rode 96km of hills in the scorching heat and thought, maybe, just maybe, I could do it. This weekend, I slogged out 88km brutal km's on my tri bike and lamented my loss of strength and speed. So right now I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do. I think a lot will depend on what the ultrasound I'm having done tomorrow shows. And, I still can't run so there's that. I tried earlier on this week and the pain was still there. Which leads me to believe that I have really done a number on myself.
|Getting ready to tackle 96km with a whole bunch of other like minded folks.|
Injuries have a way of breaking you down mentally and I can honestly say that this injury has broken my spirit. I haven't been myself for the last several weeks. It kills me to sit on the sidelines and it kills me to watch the fitness I worked so hard for slowly disappear. Everyone is getting excited for our upcoming race in Tremblant and I'm trying to keep my shit together and not break down in tears every time it comes up in conversation. I'm sure I'll feel better once I have some definitive answers. I'll get those on June 15th when I go in for my follow up appointment with Dr. Galea. In the meantime, I'm keeping up with my physio exercises and I'm working on strengthening my core and hips. I haven't stopped swimming and I'm continuing to ride as my body will allow so there's that.
Since I'm actually able to do some things, I figured I'd link up with Holly and Tricia's Weekly Wrap. And, it's given me an excuse to get back on the blog. I haven't felt very motivated to write to be honest.
Anyway....this is how my week went down!
Monday: OFF. I really needed sleep after two days in a row of cycling but I did my physio exercises!
Tuesday: 20km ride. My legs were still feeling the weekend so I cut this short. It was a beautiful morning for a ride though and I'm glad I made the effort to get out. Physio work in p.m.
Wednesday: 2800m swim in the a.m. and then I laced up my shoes in the p.m. and went out for a short jaunt to celebrate Global Running Day. 3.88km. Not pain free. :(
Thursday: 40 minutes of strength training / physio work. I was going to ride but my glut was still sore from the shockwave treatment I had the night before so I went to the gym instead.
Friday: 2350m swim + physio exercises
Saturday: 88km ride + physio exercises
Sunday: 2500m swim + physio exercises
Total time: 7h 40 minutes. Most of that was spent on the bike, ha ha.
I know things could be worse but being a very focused and goal oriented gal, I sometimes find it difficult to get back on my feet and re-focus - when you invest so much of your self and your time into something you love, only to have it go sideways, well, it really sucks. This is definitely the biggest set back I've had in all my years of racing so this is new territory for me. I've never missed a goal race and now that's looking like a strong possibility. But that's all I'm willing to say right now - a "possibility". It's not definitive. It ain't over till it's over, right?
How has everyone been? It looks like summer has finally arrived in Toronto which is FABULOUS. We've had fantastic weather for the last few weeks and it's only going to get better. Bring on Summer!