Saturday, March 24, 2012
Looking for my Game Face
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit scared. I know that if I managed to run 29km last week, then I should be able to run 30km this week. But the memory of just how slow and uncomfortable last weeks 29km is still lingering in the back of my mind. I know that the only person who really cares about my time is me. Nobody else. So what does it matter you ask? It matters because if I don't make my time, I will feel like I failed. Absolutely ridiculous, I know. The fact that I went out and did it, doesn't seem to count for anything when in reality, it should. It doesn't mean I am any less of a person because I didn't make my goal time. This is the curse of a hard headed competitive runner. In fact it doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of my life. It's a small dot in the larger picture. Learning to let go of these expectations is a slow going process.
So I'll have to be smart tomorrow, which, when I'm left to my own devices, doesn't usually happen. I am going to spend this afternoon relaxing & trying to figure out how to set my Garmin to keep me on pace. I'm also going to spend some time trying to find my game face. I'm sure it's here somewhere, I just need find it.