Wednesday, November 9, 2016

D is For

Doubts

Dreams

Determination

The events of the last few months have created so much doubt surrounding my racing.  I have fallen so far from where I was this time last year.   Injury will do that to you.  As will stress.   My life has been anything but normal since the summer.   Selling a house, buying a house, living out of a suitcase, renovating a house and trying to balance a busy job with that will take a toll.  Training has fallen by the wayside.   Meal prep has gone out the window.  And I feel it mentally and physically.  My pants are begging me to get back on track.   Coming back from Florida gave me a very rude awakening.  A lot of my jeans don't really fit that well anymore.  I haven't stepped on a scale in months because quite frankly I don't want to know.  I don't need to see a number to reinforce how gross I'm feeling.   My clothes are telling me that enough is enough.  I'm trying not to beat myself up too badly about how I feel because I know I have the power and determination to change things.  That change is starting this week.

The dust has finally settled in the new Kennedy Compound so I should be able to get back to a normal healthy eating routine.  I have a fully functioning kitchen so Sunday meal prep will start this weekend.   It's time to get my body back into the shape that I am comfortable in.  I refuse to accept that where I am now is my new normal.   It's simply a result of life happening at a much faster pace than usual, which in my case, makes me become lazy.   When you try to fit it all in, something has to give and for me it's usually cooking.

The all new kitchen in the all new Kennedy Compound

Despite not feeling like myself, I can't complain about life in general.  I'm starting to get excited about running again.  Most of my pain is gone and I'm slowly making progress.  I'm so focused on fixing the little things.  I'm back in the gym twice a week and the home gym has been set up in new Pain Cave so I have zero excuses to do my physio homework.  I really feel like things are starting to make a difference.  I am looking forward to 2017.  I don't think I'm going to have the same ambitious goals as last year but a girl can dream.  I know I'm going to have to be very cautious with introducing speed into my running.  I think it's going to have to wait for a while.  I'd like to work on building up my distance again so that is my focus for the next couple of months.  We'll see how that goes before I start chasing any crazy dreams for 2017.

Pain Cave Version 2.0

I admit, I lost my mojo for a while.  I was cranky and feeling pretty bummed.   The Universe stepped in and kept me distracted with work, moving, house hunting & job quitting.   I firmly believe that was all I could handle at that point in time.  Now that order has somewhat been restored and things have calmed down, my determination is coming back.  This year has been a struggle in pretty much every aspect of my life.   That being said, I am determined to make the best of the rest of this year.   and I know that whatever 2017 brings will be much better than 2016.  Because I am determined to make it so.

Thanks to Deb for today's Wednesday Word (Determination)




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